Time to Wrap it All Up, . . . Maybe Put A Pretty Little Bow on Top?

And now. . .
The end is here. . .
And so I face. .
The final curtain. . .

Thanks Frank. I'll take it from here. My Professor asked that we read all of our blogs for this semester and then decide which of the theories we like and dislike. Well, I've read them and I think I can sum them up by quoting my High School English teacher:

"Get some help, fast!"

She's a teacher; what does she know? Oh, wait, so am I. . . do teachers, like doctors, have to take some hypocritical oath too? I hope not.

Now comes the hard part, choosing which theory I like best. May I have the envelope please (takes envelope). And now, the winner of "My Favorite Theory for Educational Psychology" is. . . (opens envelope and gets a paper cut). . . ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!

(Waits for the cheering to die down). I think I'll have to explain the judge's decision. Remember way back at the beginning of the semester when i pointed out that God has a sense of humor and as proof he created all people with differences? Well, why wouldn't He have also made the way they learn things also different? If I am to be a true teacher, I have to apply as many learning theories as possible for all of the different minds I'll be teaching. Children are different. My personal theory about how children learn is that each one has different mental processes that work best for them. Some are hands on learners, some like watching models, other actually prefer the lectures or the bookwork. My theory as a teacher will be to teach to all of the senses and curve the teaching so that the student can learn. They'll still do the work, but I plan to focus on their motivations.

Now don't get me wrong, there are things I'll love doing and things I'll hate. I'll love applying cognitive theories and allowing the students the chance to explore and learn what they want to. At the same time, I'll have to structure the lessons so that chaos, while interesting, doesn't ensue. And, as much as it pains me, I'm going to want a certain level of behaviorism principles applied.

For example, say I'm teaching a class about Shakespeare, which I will definitely do. I will appeal to the bookworms by assigning the students to read the text and try to translate it as best they can. I may even lean towards some constructivism practices here and have them translate what Shakespeare is talking about in groups. I'll appeal to the image and audio learners by showing film clips of Shakespeare. For the hands on learners, there will also be performance assignments too. Now, of course there are going to be some things the students will hate that others love. I'm doing them a favor by getting them used to having to do some things they hate. It's for their own good that I'm teaching them in many different methods.

Now what? How do I really do the "teaching them in many different methods" part? My lesson plans will be designed around what is best for the students. One group of kids isn't exactly like the next, yet at the same time they are also very similar. It may seem like a double-edged sword, but a sword, like so many analogies, is a tool that when used correctly can be quite wonderful. First, I have to know the material. Remembering how I learned may give me an inkling of how the students may best learn it too, or it may give me a heads-up of what to avoid. Second, I will need to know the students in my class, or the individual journeys each of them has taken. It may be that I'll have some additional help if they have experiences I can tap into. Lastly, I merge how I teach with how they learn. I'll probably have to study up on the cognitive theories since they seem to give me the most trouble (in my opinion, they are a bit broad in terms of execution). That's probably why I'm not selling the text book back. I think I'll keep it for future reference (and to keep my kitchen table balanced :) .

Whatever I do, my students and I will be able to feel pleased with the knowledge we've obtained and the stuff we've learned. In summary, let me turn it back over to Frank.

"I Did It. . .
MYYYYYYYY
WAYYYYYYY!!!"

But I Don't Wanna Behave!

I got some bad news today.

Today I learned that how I behave could affect how others also behave. Not good. The reason this is bad news is because if I, on my quest for World Domination, am to be the kind and lovable one who will rule this planet, that means I'm going to be a role model. People are going to want to be like me! if they really put that desire into effect, that means there will be millions of others who also want to take over the world. I can't deal with that kind of competition, at least not until I've obtained my standard nuclear warheads.

I'll worry about the plan alterations later; you readers just play along until I pass on my orders to you.

Meanwhile, back in "reality" this new role model thing has me worried. I mean, who are the role models of today? Don't you dare say celebrities or politicians, because they don't have a clue about reality. Want proof? Ok, you asked for it.

Let's take President-Elect Barack Obama, perhaps the hottest thing in the political arena by far (actually, I found Governor Palin much more attractive, but that's a different post altogether). The newly appointed leader of the USA is, he admitted, a smoker. Wait, a smoker? As in sucks on a piece of paper filled with nasty addictive stuff? Yes, he is. The next leader of the free nation is currently addicted to something proven deadly. . . in other words, he's killing himself. While we all hope he can "change" that habit, I think it's safe to say he's not the best role model right now.

I think the Secret Service are tracking me right now, so I'll have to finish this up quickly. People of all ages are impressionable. What they are doing is caused by several factors, such as peers, media, and different cultures. In the modern classroom, there are several outside influences we need to be mindful of. Think back to your schooling days. Do you remember that one kid who was popular, good looking, did well at everything from sports to good grades? Didn't you just hate that person? Me too. Oh, and if you are that person, your number is up buddy.

Bottom line, we're being watched at the same time as we are watching others. What we do affects what others may do, and what we see may affect what we do. (I'm currently flapping my arms like a chicken in hopes of starting a new fad). As a teacher, or a role model if you will (gasp) my job description apparently involves good behavior (at least while I'm being watched). What I'm planning on doing is talking the talk and walking the walk (yes cliche, but it works). This isn't just limited to my field of study, but to who I am as a person. The students can like me all the want. I just have to be willing to pay the price of being scholastically, at least until the new world domination plan is ready.

Pavlov's Dog Vs PETA (this could get ugly)

Today's blog is brought to you by the letters "B" and "F" and by the number "Skinner" ( I know that's not a number, but the metaphor was working too well). This Skinner fellow is another one of those Psychologist Theorist types who tries to explain why we do the things we do. That's a job I'd like to have: think about stuff all day that will explain why some people are messed up and why some people are lucky enough to be "normal"--I'd make a killing doing that. Suffice to say, Mr. B.F. Skinner is one of the lead philosophers behind Behaviorism. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have had any assignments due this week and could have slept in. Thanks a bunch.

Anyways, we educators are faced with the fact that Behavior has something to do with learning. It has been strongly argued that behaviors can be trained to reappear. There's the Pavlov's Dog study, where some Russian "scientist" decided to have some fun with his pet. He'd ring a bell and then serve his dog some food. He first tried to do this with a cat, but felines are independent and finicky. Pavlov's cat wouldn't commit to the research. Instead she'd either clean herself, walk around the bowl, or cough up a hairball. Pavlov had no choice but to eliminate her (he had to have something to feed his dog, after all). Pavlov's dog saw what happened to his fellow pet and decided to play along. After the bell-food served pattern was repeated, the dog would automatically salivate in anticipation of his food whenever it heard a bell. Pavlov ran out of cats to feed his dog, so he continued the experiment only using the bell. The dog probably caught on, but not wanting to end up like the cat, he took advantage of human stupidity and made Pavlov believe he was still expecting some food by salivating.

Now, what does this have to do with teaching? You don't know? Well shucks, neither do I. I was hoping you'd know. I guess it's back to the old Make-Something-Up-That-Sounds-Intelligent strategy.

In the 4th Grade I once sharpened my pencil and convinced another kid to sit down on it. I don't remember everything that happened, but I remember getting into BIG trouble. I never made another kid sit on a writing utensil ever again. I was (gasp) trained to not behave like that. Believe it or not, we're all trained. Don't believe me? Ladies, how many of you get all excited when you see some article of clothing on sale that you really want? All of you? Thanks. Men, how many of you roll your eyes as these ladies tell you every reason why you need to buy it for them? This works the other way around, but men usually want cooler stuff, like Legos, or Nerf guns, or a year's supply of bubble wrap. Now, do we see infants of the male or female gender behaving like the adults? No. Only until they reach the age of 2 and grasp the idea of "MINE! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!" does the insanity take over.

Now, how am I, a teacher, going to use the fact that human beings can be trained . Answer? Very carefully if my plot to take over the world is to succeed. But until then, it's actually very simple. We'll call it the Good Idea/Bad Idea game. Good Idea: Turning in your Homework Completed and On Time for a Good Grade. Bad Idea: Turning in your Homework Incomplete and Late for a Bad Grade.

Isn't this fun? Let's go on.

Good Idea: Raising Your Hand When You Want to Say Something. Bad Idea: Raising the Finger in Between your Ring and Index Finger When you Want to Say Something.

One more? Ok.

Good Idea: Giving Heed to My Every Wish as Your Command. Bad Idea: Ignoring My Mandates, Making the Consequences Eternally Unfavorable for You.