It's a Small World After All . . . Let's Take Over Jupiter

Before you go on reading any further, watch this video:

http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom



No, seriously, watch it before you go on:

http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom



I said, watch the %$#@*!!! video!!!

http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom





Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Did you feel inspired or motivated? Did you get misty-eyed? If so, what the heck were you watching? That's not the video I posted. I posted something serious. That clip entitled "The Connected Classroom" is something that will definitely make you think. And worry (if you think too much and don't do anything about it).

I'd like to propose we don't go back in time to where students regurgitated their lessons and move on to where they apply them. Of course, we will undoubtedly run into the "Why Do I Have to Learn This?" syndrome or it's counterpart the "What Does This Have to Do With Me?" bug. The symptoms of both include laziness, weight gain, excessive video game playing and TV watching, and in some cases even death. That's right--you heard me. Your students may have a pulse and stuff, but if the brain is not being used they are technically brain dead and, in my expert opinion (which counts the most since I'm writing right now and you're not) legally dead.

Sometimes I wish we could find some way to get all of the lazy and stupid people to stop taking so much for granted. Unfortunately, I find myself in that group from time to time. Well, here's my secret to how I leave it---I make a difference.

Students today get the same propaganda I just hinted at. They know their teachers and peers think or believe they can make a difference. So why don't some of them do so (the lazy and stupid ones that is--you bright kids can ignore everything I'm saying--you go and solve a Rubik's cube or something)? I would say the obvious reason is they don't see a need to. They think they have everything they need to survive and they don't see a need to educate themselves. They don't think the future is going to be any different so they don't prepare for it.

Well, as a teacher I'll be putting a stop to all that wherever possible. How? I have no idea. Maybe I should watch the video again:

http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom


OK, I know what to do now. I need to find ways to make my subject relevant, appealing, and accessible to my students. Really--it's that simple. Example: A lot of students hate Shakespeare (which is absurd; he never did anything to them). However, I know for a fact students find violence appealing. They also love a good laugh. And they also really find (PG-13 statement coming up) sex very interesting (GASP!). Yes, I know you parents didn't want to hear that but it's the truth. Anyways, I bet these students who find Shakespeare boring don't know that all that sex, violence, and funny stuff was appealing to Shakespeare too. That's why he wrote about it in his plays!

Score:

Teacher: 1
Students:1

Yeah--that's right. The score's tied. Teachers and students have the same knowledge: isn't that the purpose of education?

My Beliefs

If Doc Waters and I had to duel it out by coming up with cool blog entry titles, I'm pretty sure I'd school her.

Anyways, I must ask myself (because Doc Waters made me) what are my beliefs regarding technology in the classroom. Are there things I'm convinced about? Are there things I'm indifferent about? Am I "anti"anything? I've got you interested now, haven't I? I think I'll format my Classroom Technology beliefs after the fashion of the Blue Comedy Tour ( http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/845218/)


I Believe . . .

• Keyboards and soft drinks don't get along so well.

I Believe . . .

• Students won't learn anything unless they really want to. If they don't like the technology or material being used, they will suffer academically.

I Believe . . .

• It's the teachers' job to make sure that last statement happens as minimally as possible.

I Believe . . .

• If a student is bored, it's not them and it's not the material--It's the Teacher.

I Believe . . .

• If Mankind was unable to survive without the cell phone, God would have created man with a Bluetooth attachment permanently fixed in his ear.

I Believe . . .

• On the 8th Day, God created Macs.

I Believe . . .

• On the 9th Day, God created PCs to keep things interesting.

I Believe . . .

• Every piece of technology out there can be used in a constructive way.

I Believe . . .

• Every piece of technology out there can be used in a destructive way.

I Believe . . .

• I can teach anything to anybody.

I Believe . . .

• I can't teach anybody those "anythings" wherever or whenever I want. Preparation and Setting are very important.

I Believe . . .

• The Internet is a Wonderful and Scary place.

I Believe . . .

• The World is a Wonderful and Scary place.

I Believe . . .

• Men who ask Women out by Text Message or Email should only do so if they have a note from their doctor stating that their tongue has been removed.

I Believe . . .

• Doc Waters is shaking her head right now as she reads this.

Lessons Learned

Again, the title wasn't my choosing. I would have selected something more catchy like "101 Ways to Pass Out" or "Belching: The Questions You've Always Wanted to Ask But Were Afraid To"--oh well.


The lessons learned is again in reference to the unit I'm taking about technology in the classroom. I've come up with some good ones. Here are Top 10 Basic Lessons I've learned about Implementing Technology in the Classroom.

1. Students will always want to use the latest piece of technology they've heard of, even if they have no clue on how it works or how to use it.
2. Students like to be lazy (just like adults, their predecessors). If there is an easier way, they'll want to do it.
3. Most students know way more than I do about the latest cell phone and multimedia gadgets out there. I'm not going to bother learning how to use all of them since they'll be more than willing to show me how and do it for me anyways.
4. Despite all they can do, you can survive without that cell phone.
5. If Students continue to text at the current rate, within a million years the basic human's thumb will have evolved to the size of a banana.
6. The Best way to meet several students' learning needs/preferences is to integrate several different tools, methods, and technologies as possible. Keep them on their toes and engage their 5 senses as much as possible. Do that until Osmosis kicks in.
7. Before I die the book as I know it, the physical object with actual pages, may cease to exist. In fact I won't be surprised if I hear that a printed copy of Tolstoy's War and Peace is bad for the environment.
8. Online Social Networking will never compare to the real thing. A real friend in the flesh beats the heck out of all the IMs you might get.
9. Despite all the technological upgrades, reading and writing will still be necessary to move up in the world.
10. For every positive thing you can possibly do with new technology, some jerk will find a negative thing using the same breakthrough.

My students better prepare themselves for someone who knows how to use the technology out there but isn't afraid to go Old School on them.

Strengths & Weaknesses

I don't like that title. Doc Waters made me use it. I detest it because it may lead you, the reader who'll believe anything on the internet, that I may have imperfections. You'd be right, but that's beside the point--I'm trying to maintain an image here. Oh, in case you're wondering, the strengths and weaknesses are dealing with my abilities to use technology in the classroom as a teacher. Apparently there are standards regarding them so, again, I must learn how to cheat the system.

Regardless, if I don't say something semi-intelligent and reflective here my grade in Doc Waters' class might suffer. This calls for tact and desire for self-reflection/improvement. Since I have neither I will now turn the time over to Peter Positive (PP) and Nathan Negative (NN). They're being paid by the hour, so their statements will be brief.

PP: Our employer appears to have a basic grasp of Microsoft tools and Internet advantages.

NN: He also rarely does anything original with either.

PP: On the other hand, he does appear to be creatively inclined and would be able to design lesson plans that could include several aspects of technology.

NN: On the other hand, he doesn't feel inclined to do that for every single lesson plan.

PP: The subject did score an average marks on the UNI Preservice Teacher Technology Competencies surveys assigned.

NN: His average technology scores mean just that--he's average. He doesn't wow you with his abilities.

(Watch it Nate. You might be a figment of my imagination but I can still take you.)

PP: My opinion is that the subject, to improve his web design capabilities, would do well to learn some design and application tutorials, like "Introduction to Designing Accessible Websites " on eClasses.org. To better learn how to technology could be used in his regular lesson plans, he should go to About.com and in their Secondary Education unit take "How To Write Lesson Plans" by Melissa Kelly.

NN: He would also do well to review the basic "How To" guides of every piece of technology he uses, including the light switch. This guy needs serious he . . .

BANG!!!






Nate won't be providing any more insights. How about you, Pete? Anything else you wanna add?

PP: ummm, no sir.

Good man.

One More Thing . . .

There is something to be said about Power Point presentations . . .


And I said it all last week. But if you’d like me to say something else, I guess I could make something up that sounds intelligent (politicians do it all the time, why can’t I?).

First, let me refer you to the following youtube link of a comedian showing how not to use PowerPoint. At least I think he’s a comedian. He could be an unemployed Business Analyst looking for a job. I’ll let you decide.

Video Link

But this guy brings up a good point. There are ways to screw up a good thing. Every piece of technology that has ever been invented someone has found a way to make the inventor want to puke. Give me an example. The automobile? Yeah that’s good, but some redneck/donkey hybrid decided a low-rider pickup truck would be cool (and no, it’s not cool if it’s completely ridiculous). How about the TV? That’s an invention even the poor people can’t even seem to live without. How could someone possibly mess up that? How about creating a TV show for kids (so you can scar them for life) about a homosexual purple dinosaur named Barney of all names? I’m getting sick just writing about him.

Now, anyone who works in education knows that students can and will surprise you. Sometimes those surprises are, well, not so good. We teachers are in positions of power though. We are in the position to dissuade or correct these mistakes. I prefer the unraveled metal coat hanger approach. When a student does something stupid I’d just whack him/her with the coat hanger. Hey, I could use a cat-of-nine-tails and just give’em an old fashioned flogging.

Anyways, PowerPoint is just one thing that could be a blessing or a curse in the classroom. My approach is to let the students experiment so that they at least feel like their creative juices are being acknowledged. And if the mess up? My friend the coat hanger will come to the rescue.

Slackers Anonymous

If you're reading this post, you're already in the club.

Lucky for you this organization isn't nit-picky or anything. In fact, now that I think about it, everyone is a bonafied member of Slackers Anonymous. If you are a registered human from the planet Earth, you are automatically inducted into this club. If you are an extra-terrestrial reading this blog, get off my planet--I already called dibs.

Let me give you a quick example of how the human race is nothing but a bunch of slackers. In class for Tech Ed., one of our required texts was this Power Point booklet thingy. We were supposed to have already purchased it from the College Textbook Abyss (more commonly called the money-grubbers). Anyways, guess how many students had the book? 2. Oh, and in case you're wondering, those 2 students ain't human. Trust me, they ain't normal--I know these things. I have an on-line degree bought on e-Bay.


Power Point was something I mastered in high school. No, I wasn't a child prodigy or anything (but only because I didn't want to blow my cover). If a bunch of hormone frenzied teenagers can do it, it's not hard. I remember being assigned to do a PowerPoint presentation of the attractions of Panama. All I had to do was browse the Internet, find a bunch of websites showing the native Amazon women of Panama, and then copied/pasted the most risque pictures of them on a slideshow . I got an A+ (Dad was proud, Mom disowned me).

Given the fact that it is not a hard thing to do (creating a Power Point presentation, that is), that in and of itself is a clue as to how a teacher might use it in class. Admit it you educators--if a student finds an assignment too hard, it's difficult to get them to do even look at it. However, the ease of the assignment just draws them in--especially when you tell them that they can use the slideshow to teach.

Wait, what? The student teach? Isn't that a reversal of the roles? Actually, it's what they want sometimes. Be honest, how many times do you educators hear "Why are we learning this?" That's a clue that they'd rather be learning about something else. If that isn't a big enough clue, maybe the dozing in class or the short attention spans will make it clear to you. Oh look--Shiny object!


Where was I? Oh yeah, I was making a point. That point is when a person teaches, they have to already know the lesson. Do you get where I'm going with this? If you are like me, then you love tricking the students into learning something. No one said they had to know about it, did they? I, for one, am now an expert on Amazon Women from Panama. I even went to get a degree in that field at a Yard Sale.

Quest Complete!

(before you begin reading, you may want to be playing some appropriate music dealing with this post's message. May I recommend Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" to you?)

Doc Waters isn't getting the hint.

No disrespect or nothing, but she is still trying to break me. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you Doc Waters. Why would you want to do such a thing? Some of you old school teachers might say "you have to break them down in order to buld them up" or some philosophical mumbo jumbo like that. Well, too bad. I've got better things to do than get defeated by an assignment. Remember WebQuest from last week? Yeah, well, I hope it was a fond memory. Nice try, Doc.

Some of you may be thinking "Wait . . . isn't this the same guy who complained in an earlier post? Wasn't he griping about having to work hard on something?" To those naysayers let me clarify something. I can do anything. Let me repeat that. ANYTHING. That doesn't mean I have to like it. That's the first lesson you should learn when you begin transforming into an adult. No one says I had to enjoy the stuff I didn't like.

That's not to say the experiences aren't useful. A task is usually the hardest the first time around when you don't know diddly-squat about it. Now I know I can do this WebQuest stuff . . . if I want to (maybe I can use it as punishment in my classroom). In the meantime, as a result of the ordeal I know more, can do more, and have the satisfaction of taking out another opponent in the road to world domination, or a teaching career--they're the same thing.

If you're shaking now, wait for this next bit. A little bit more than a year ago there was this young man named Dalton Sherman. Dalton did something few people can say they've done. He delievered a 7 minute memorized speech to a crowd of 20,000 some people. Impressed? Well brace yourself for this additional fact: he was just a kid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAMLOnSNwzA). Ever heard of the study that found out people's biggest fear wasn't death, but speaking in public? Well, we've got a kid here who isn't afraid of death, it seems, because he nailed that speech of his. What was the topic? Believing in Education. His audience? Educators.

How many of you educators want Dalton in your classroom? All of you, hopefully. Who doesn't want a fearless student. Those are the ones that change the world. Now ask yourself this: Are you doing anything that would increase the fear your student(s) might have? Think about that. You may not mean to, but it happens. I like to think of the lessons in the book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." Young kids think they can do anything. Here's a fact--they can. Heck, I conquered WebQuest. Why not a kid? Look up that book--there are no lessons about fear. None.




I say we don't teach fear. What about you?

WebQuest: The Legend Begins

As a kid I used to play some role-playing computer games on my parents’ PC. I don’t play them nowadays because my parents won’t let me live at home anymore. So I’ve been going through some major withdrawal in regards to my gaming skills. Among the games I wasted so many glorious days playing were King’s Quest and Hero’s Quest. I even played one called Peasant’s Quest. Now I’ve been told there is a Web Quest.

What’s that? A Web Quest? Sounds suspicious, right? Of course it does, because there is no such thing as a role-playing game called Web Quest. It was a trick by my technology in education instructor (you know, the newest arch nemesis). It turns out that I’m creating this Web Quest. And the worst part is it’s not a role-playing game. It’s supposed to be a teaching tool. So here I find myself the gamer creating a nongame with the objective of teaching something to somebody. Geez, have people forgotten how to read?

The answer to that last question is yes, by the way. Too many people let technology do their teaching for them. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Anyways, I began to think to myself that if I do this right, it could be bent to serve my will (you remember, the world domination thing—cue organ music and evil laugh). For those of you who don’t know what a Web Quest is, let me enlighten you (in other words, brace yourselves). It’s a teaching tool where you give the students instructions of what they will be able to do when they follow the steps. Usually it has them doing research or activities on the web, so the possibilities are endless. You can have a Web Quest designed to learn anything . . . like say world domination? (cue organ music and evil laugh again).

As you can probably guess, there might be some resistance to that lesson plan. Web Quests are better geared for learning useful things for your subject, so I think I’ll use them for teaching the core curriculum of my theatre classes. My students’ parents/guardians may have something against my plots against taking control of the earth, so for now I’ll stick to the curriculum.

. . . for now (final cue of the organ music and evil laugh).