Sunday, December 13, 2009
My Final Project
Part of my final for my Technology in Education class was to create a digital story. The subject could be about anything I wanted, and Doc Waters gave some good advice as to what the subject should be. It needed to be something that personally meant something to us.
I remember watching a documentary about Helmuth Hubener back in 2003. Prior to then I had heard his name mentioned, but I didn't know much about him. After watching the documentary I remember sitting minutes in silence, in complete awe of this young man's story. This digital story is just my way of trying to bring his story to you and perhaps allow you the same experience I had.
Friday, December 11, 2009
In Closing . . .
Yeah, the semester is ending. This is that time of year when instructors, in a last-ditch effort to make students think for themselves, ask that their pupils get all self-reflective and stuff and express how far they've come in the class/subject they paid tuition for (aka an arm and a leg plus whatever the government didn't take).
Well, we definitely will have none of that here. Reflections are for philosophers and hippies. While I may have come off as philosophical and hippy-like at times, i don't like to talk about how far I've come. I prefer to think about it instead. (nnnnnnn--there, that was fun).
Besides, any instructor whose focus is solely rested upon students' self-reflections is (A) a sad person trying to derive meaning for their own lives from the lives of others or (2) Just really lazy.
They could be both, but I don't think of either types as being over-achievers. My point is, if the teacher was really doing their job, then both the instructor and the students would know the success they've achieved because the student would already be applying their new knowledge and skills.
Here's a quick example. I was 5 years old when I mastered shoelaces. I was quite proud of that (until I learned about Velcro and discovered a short cut). After several tries of getting the bunny ears just right, my Mom let me try doing it on my own. Much to my delight I remembered what to do and tied the shoelaces correctly. Now my Mom is an intelligent person and therefore knew it would have been degrading to ask "Now what have you learned, Jakob?" I probably would have played Captain Obvious and took advantage of the situation. I would have said something like "Why, did you forget already?" or "Are your eyes feeling okay? You were here all this time, right? At least mentally?"
Lucky for me my Mom simply congratulated me and let me tie my shoes from then on, an act I've continued to this day (except when I wear sandals and boots, which everyone should own a pair of). I like what I heard in a meeting with an educator. He said the first lesson he learned as an instructor was "Put the burden of the learning on the student." Well, if the shoelaces weren't supposed to be part of the picture, my Mom would have thrown the shoes in the trash and said walking barefoot would be fine. . . which would be ok if I were a hippy. But I was the student, shoelaces were going to be an important part of my life, so the burden was mine. I have advanced to double tying the shoelaces. 'Nuf said.
Now then, I'm going to ask you nicely this time to watch this video. Will you please click on the link below and watch the video? (MAN that was hard). Thank you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y72cjn7l9H0
These students are trying to define the burdens of the learning world. I say let them. That means they are taking an active part in the learning process. They want to define the parameters. If you're technologically challenged, that's ok. We still have books.
For me, as a future teacher of this technologically-enhanced generation will probably have to keep up to speed with the newest products, which should be great fun since I'm the guy who put the DVD in the CD player and wondered why I wasn't getting any music or video. Regardless, as an instructor the technologies of the world are simply a means to an end. Basically I simply point in the direction the students should go and make the pathway as navigable as possible. Whether or not the embark on the journey is their own choice.
It doesn't matter anyways--eventually they will all become my minions that do my every bidding. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!!!!
Well, we definitely will have none of that here. Reflections are for philosophers and hippies. While I may have come off as philosophical and hippy-like at times, i don't like to talk about how far I've come. I prefer to think about it instead. (nnnnnnn--there, that was fun).
Besides, any instructor whose focus is solely rested upon students' self-reflections is (A) a sad person trying to derive meaning for their own lives from the lives of others or (2) Just really lazy.
They could be both, but I don't think of either types as being over-achievers. My point is, if the teacher was really doing their job, then both the instructor and the students would know the success they've achieved because the student would already be applying their new knowledge and skills.
Here's a quick example. I was 5 years old when I mastered shoelaces. I was quite proud of that (until I learned about Velcro and discovered a short cut). After several tries of getting the bunny ears just right, my Mom let me try doing it on my own. Much to my delight I remembered what to do and tied the shoelaces correctly. Now my Mom is an intelligent person and therefore knew it would have been degrading to ask "Now what have you learned, Jakob?" I probably would have played Captain Obvious and took advantage of the situation. I would have said something like "Why, did you forget already?" or "Are your eyes feeling okay? You were here all this time, right? At least mentally?"
Lucky for me my Mom simply congratulated me and let me tie my shoes from then on, an act I've continued to this day (except when I wear sandals and boots, which everyone should own a pair of). I like what I heard in a meeting with an educator. He said the first lesson he learned as an instructor was "Put the burden of the learning on the student." Well, if the shoelaces weren't supposed to be part of the picture, my Mom would have thrown the shoes in the trash and said walking barefoot would be fine. . . which would be ok if I were a hippy. But I was the student, shoelaces were going to be an important part of my life, so the burden was mine. I have advanced to double tying the shoelaces. 'Nuf said.
Now then, I'm going to ask you nicely this time to watch this video. Will you please click on the link below and watch the video? (MAN that was hard). Thank you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y72cjn7l9H0
These students are trying to define the burdens of the learning world. I say let them. That means they are taking an active part in the learning process. They want to define the parameters. If you're technologically challenged, that's ok. We still have books.
For me, as a future teacher of this technologically-enhanced generation will probably have to keep up to speed with the newest products, which should be great fun since I'm the guy who put the DVD in the CD player and wondered why I wasn't getting any music or video. Regardless, as an instructor the technologies of the world are simply a means to an end. Basically I simply point in the direction the students should go and make the pathway as navigable as possible. Whether or not the embark on the journey is their own choice.
It doesn't matter anyways--eventually they will all become my minions that do my every bidding. BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!!!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
Admit it, we all love Propaganda
I say it, you believe it. THAT would be a useful superpower, don't you think? With that power I could build or destroy anything I wanted, have countless followers do my every bidding, even conquer the world.
Here's the mind blowing part---people have or are currently using this superpower already.
I'm referring to propaganda, which you would have known already had you read the title of this blog entry (shame on you if you didn't). There are two very crucial elements to effective propaganda: WHAT is being said, and HOW it is being said. Watch the following video before we proceed (and you better watch it this time--I don't post this stuff because I'm bored):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8&feature=related
Don't you feel smaller? Maybe even a bit amazed or scared? Maybe you feel threatened by the so called improvements of the human race? Let's stop and think--why do you feel this way?
Well, let's analyze it from the propaganda perspective:
WHAT was being said? If I may summarize it (which I can because I'm writing this blog entry and you're just the reader--nyah!), I believe the message is the processing of information is not what it used to be--our world has made humongous strides and is rapidly becoming a place where everyone thinks they have access to everything (by the way, they don't--it's just a myth that you can have anything you want. I already called dibs on whatever it was before you).
HOW was that message conveyed? Quite simple, actually. It presented related facts in a progressing pattern. You saw what was, is, and perhaps what will be. Imagine, if you will, a snowball rolling down a snowy mountainside at you. It seems small at first, but it gets bigger because (1) it's closer and (2) it's accumulated more snow and increased in size. I like how the video ends with "What does it all mean?" or as my analogy puts it "What do you do when the ever-growing snowball reaches you?"
I'm not going to answer those questions, mostly because I don't have a clue of what those answers are. Regardless, let me amaze you all anyways. I'll do so by making my point for this blog entry---we, the viewers and listeners of this media filled world, are the targeted puppets of the makers of the media.
That's what propaganda, in all of its many forms, is trying to do--make you do something (watch what strings you pull!). The really scary thing is the WHAT is being said doesn't even have to be true, so long as HOW it is being said gets to you. Watch commercials closely--you'll really see the media puppet masters at work there. They want you to buy/do something.
Now that you know all this, let me teach you about responsibility. If you're one who helps make the media, please, for Heaven's sake, make your message safe. Hopefully that doesn't fall on deaf ears, otherwise we could have another Hitler and/or Nazi Germany pop up somewhere (review your history--the Third Reich had propaganda masters working for them). If you are one receiving the propaganda message, please realize that the message you receive doesn't have to be the message that was sent. Be an objective, not a subjective receiver.
By the way, Doc Waters, knowing all of what I have just written about, has assigned us to do a digital story. We, her students, have been asked to put together a short moving presentation of any topic we want and share it with the class. In other words, we get to try our hand at this propaganda thingy. Am I able to handle this new superpower? Let me put on my mask and cape and we'll find out . . .
Here's the mind blowing part---people have or are currently using this superpower already.
I'm referring to propaganda, which you would have known already had you read the title of this blog entry (shame on you if you didn't). There are two very crucial elements to effective propaganda: WHAT is being said, and HOW it is being said. Watch the following video before we proceed (and you better watch it this time--I don't post this stuff because I'm bored):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpEnFwiqdx8&feature=related
Don't you feel smaller? Maybe even a bit amazed or scared? Maybe you feel threatened by the so called improvements of the human race? Let's stop and think--why do you feel this way?
Well, let's analyze it from the propaganda perspective:
WHAT was being said? If I may summarize it (which I can because I'm writing this blog entry and you're just the reader--nyah!), I believe the message is the processing of information is not what it used to be--our world has made humongous strides and is rapidly becoming a place where everyone thinks they have access to everything (by the way, they don't--it's just a myth that you can have anything you want. I already called dibs on whatever it was before you).
HOW was that message conveyed? Quite simple, actually. It presented related facts in a progressing pattern. You saw what was, is, and perhaps what will be. Imagine, if you will, a snowball rolling down a snowy mountainside at you. It seems small at first, but it gets bigger because (1) it's closer and (2) it's accumulated more snow and increased in size. I like how the video ends with "What does it all mean?" or as my analogy puts it "What do you do when the ever-growing snowball reaches you?"
I'm not going to answer those questions, mostly because I don't have a clue of what those answers are. Regardless, let me amaze you all anyways. I'll do so by making my point for this blog entry---we, the viewers and listeners of this media filled world, are the targeted puppets of the makers of the media.
That's what propaganda, in all of its many forms, is trying to do--make you do something (watch what strings you pull!). The really scary thing is the WHAT is being said doesn't even have to be true, so long as HOW it is being said gets to you. Watch commercials closely--you'll really see the media puppet masters at work there. They want you to buy/do something.
Now that you know all this, let me teach you about responsibility. If you're one who helps make the media, please, for Heaven's sake, make your message safe. Hopefully that doesn't fall on deaf ears, otherwise we could have another Hitler and/or Nazi Germany pop up somewhere (review your history--the Third Reich had propaganda masters working for them). If you are one receiving the propaganda message, please realize that the message you receive doesn't have to be the message that was sent. Be an objective, not a subjective receiver.
By the way, Doc Waters, knowing all of what I have just written about, has assigned us to do a digital story. We, her students, have been asked to put together a short moving presentation of any topic we want and share it with the class. In other words, we get to try our hand at this propaganda thingy. Am I able to handle this new superpower? Let me put on my mask and cape and we'll find out . . .
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Storytelling Basics
Let me begin with an actual story.
As you can see, my blog post is a little late. There are 3 possible causes for this: (1) Laziness--didn't feel like posting anything, (2) Forgetfulness--it just happened to slip my mind, or (3) Helplessness--there was physically no way for me to post the blog.
Now, which reason(s) explain the lateness of my blog? As a storyteller I could make it any of them or a combination. Let's try reasons 2 and 3. My story would go like this:
My wife and I recently closed on a house. Not wanting to pay an extra month's rent, we decided to move in as quickly as possible. This past weekend we took advantage of the good weather and moved all of our belongings to our new address and have officially started living there as our place of residence. Unfortunately, we have not enabled any Internet services at our new location yet, so I physically could not post on my blog. Not that it mattered much because we were so busy that the fact I had an assignment due completely slipped my mind. I wasn't able to complete the assignment until today.
Nice story, huh? Now the real question is "Is it the truth?"
I could say it is true all that I want, but you, the reader, currently have no physical proof that is what really happened. What if I showed you the stack of papers I signed proving the closing on the house, or satellite pictures of my car in the new house's driveway, or pictures of the bruises my wife got during the move? I could you provide all that proof and more but you still would have to choose to believe that story. That's the key word--CHOOSE.
That brings me to the key with storytelling. Good stories and storytellers are the ones that can help you in your choice of what to believe. I recently watched a Digital Story about NASA--is the space program worth it. Pretty neutral presentation--it just stated facts about what it's cost us and the benefits have been. Had the storyteller made it a presentation of just the positive stuff, then that may have been a difference in what I chose to believe.
The storyteller first and foremost must accept the responsibility of helping others to make the choice of believing something new after the story is told. That should be determined before determining how the story will be told. If I tell you about something I don't care about, then I'm not treating the subject with the respect it would need. If I want you to make a choice based on what I tell you, then I'll probably approach the telling of it differently.
With every choice, though, there are CONSEQUENCES. That is the second thing a storyteller must accept responsibility for. Unfortunately the consequences are not always known. Many times it has happened that the story was true, but no one wanted to believe it or even hear it again. If a story is a lie, the storyteller must be prepared for the possibility of being found out. If it is the truth, they must make a decision of whether or not they will stand by it. If others beleive their story, will the storyteller be able to bear what consequences happen to them?
WHat does this have to do with teaching. Well, we have to help students to choose what they will and will not believe. Ultimately, we accept responsibility for the consequences of their choice.
As you can see, my blog post is a little late. There are 3 possible causes for this: (1) Laziness--didn't feel like posting anything, (2) Forgetfulness--it just happened to slip my mind, or (3) Helplessness--there was physically no way for me to post the blog.
Now, which reason(s) explain the lateness of my blog? As a storyteller I could make it any of them or a combination. Let's try reasons 2 and 3. My story would go like this:
My wife and I recently closed on a house. Not wanting to pay an extra month's rent, we decided to move in as quickly as possible. This past weekend we took advantage of the good weather and moved all of our belongings to our new address and have officially started living there as our place of residence. Unfortunately, we have not enabled any Internet services at our new location yet, so I physically could not post on my blog. Not that it mattered much because we were so busy that the fact I had an assignment due completely slipped my mind. I wasn't able to complete the assignment until today.
Nice story, huh? Now the real question is "Is it the truth?"
I could say it is true all that I want, but you, the reader, currently have no physical proof that is what really happened. What if I showed you the stack of papers I signed proving the closing on the house, or satellite pictures of my car in the new house's driveway, or pictures of the bruises my wife got during the move? I could you provide all that proof and more but you still would have to choose to believe that story. That's the key word--CHOOSE.
That brings me to the key with storytelling. Good stories and storytellers are the ones that can help you in your choice of what to believe. I recently watched a Digital Story about NASA--is the space program worth it. Pretty neutral presentation--it just stated facts about what it's cost us and the benefits have been. Had the storyteller made it a presentation of just the positive stuff, then that may have been a difference in what I chose to believe.
The storyteller first and foremost must accept the responsibility of helping others to make the choice of believing something new after the story is told. That should be determined before determining how the story will be told. If I tell you about something I don't care about, then I'm not treating the subject with the respect it would need. If I want you to make a choice based on what I tell you, then I'll probably approach the telling of it differently.
With every choice, though, there are CONSEQUENCES. That is the second thing a storyteller must accept responsibility for. Unfortunately the consequences are not always known. Many times it has happened that the story was true, but no one wanted to believe it or even hear it again. If a story is a lie, the storyteller must be prepared for the possibility of being found out. If it is the truth, they must make a decision of whether or not they will stand by it. If others beleive their story, will the storyteller be able to bear what consequences happen to them?
WHat does this have to do with teaching. Well, we have to help students to choose what they will and will not believe. Ultimately, we accept responsibility for the consequences of their choice.
Friday, November 13, 2009
The following is my attempt to be, what normal people call, smart
Review of Shakespeare Online (http://www.shakespeare-online.com/index.html)
Anything a high school student might need to know for their English or Drama class Shakespeare unit can be found right here. What I like about this site is that it literally condenses all the possible tangents in studying Shakespeare in one location. Not only are the entire texts of his plays and sonnets provided, but you also have character and plot analysis, a review of the main themes in each play, a biography and timeline of Shakespeare's life, and even links to reviews and essays about his works. In addition, if you want to shop for books or videos, there are links to buy them here.
If a parent wants their student to not just pass the Shakespeare unit, but to excel in it, then I recommend this website. Most people need extra help to understand what the texts is actually saying. Shakespeare Online can help people of all backgrounds understand the basics of Shakespeare's works. Instead of approaching class with dread or boredom (or both) the student can feel confident that he/she will be able to comprehend everything on a level they can identify with. If they want to go a bit farther, the website can help them with that too.
I consider myself well above average in regards to my level of understanding the works of William Shakespeare. Even then, Shakespeare Online still proved insightful for me. For example, I am familiar with the majority of Shakespeare's plays. However, he has over 154 sonnets that I have never really looked at. If, like most people, I don't understand all the text after my first read-through, there is an analysis of the sonnet available on the same page as the text.
For any individual studying Shakespeare, I would recommend Shakespeare Online as a reference. The main reason for that is because it's a reference tool full of multiple references tools in and of itself.
Review of Combat Incorporated (http://www.combatinc.com/index.html)
Fight Choreography is a relatively new term in theatre and film. There are some in the those industries that never considered the necessity of an organized approach to the violence that they might have in their production. Combat Inc. is a valuable organization to use as a source to get professional help with staged violence of all sorts.
If you want credentials, this company has it. There are 10 professionals with extensive resumes who contribute. If you want reasons why you should become involved in stage combat, these professionals have listed a FAQ on their website and are also available for hire. If you want proof that they can help you with your stage fighting in your production, they have included their list of clients. Combat Inc. has literally been there and done it.
This site is primarily for those who want to be taught stage combat. The site itself does not contain any actual instruction or techniques. Be aware that it is an access to a resource, not a resource itself. The professionals who are part of Combat Inc. are the real resources. If you want lessons or professionals to assist you on your production, then you've found the right people.
Assuming their credentials are legitimate, it may be worth the production's time to look into getting help from this company. Like any industry, if the market for this type of service is competitive there may be other companies who could also provide a similar service. The professionals at Combat Inc. are dedicated to making the fights safe, collaborative, and truthful. Their list of clients proves that they've been able to practice that formula repeatedly with success.
This week, as proof of my prowress in downloading educational videos, I've been asked to include one in this blog entry. The only requirement is that the video be educational. It, like the reviews above, was part of my assignment this week. I think it's safe to say, judging by my choice of video, that it pays to be more specific when you give an assignment and that letting students choose for themselves can be disastrous.
Anything a high school student might need to know for their English or Drama class Shakespeare unit can be found right here. What I like about this site is that it literally condenses all the possible tangents in studying Shakespeare in one location. Not only are the entire texts of his plays and sonnets provided, but you also have character and plot analysis, a review of the main themes in each play, a biography and timeline of Shakespeare's life, and even links to reviews and essays about his works. In addition, if you want to shop for books or videos, there are links to buy them here.
If a parent wants their student to not just pass the Shakespeare unit, but to excel in it, then I recommend this website. Most people need extra help to understand what the texts is actually saying. Shakespeare Online can help people of all backgrounds understand the basics of Shakespeare's works. Instead of approaching class with dread or boredom (or both) the student can feel confident that he/she will be able to comprehend everything on a level they can identify with. If they want to go a bit farther, the website can help them with that too.
I consider myself well above average in regards to my level of understanding the works of William Shakespeare. Even then, Shakespeare Online still proved insightful for me. For example, I am familiar with the majority of Shakespeare's plays. However, he has over 154 sonnets that I have never really looked at. If, like most people, I don't understand all the text after my first read-through, there is an analysis of the sonnet available on the same page as the text.
For any individual studying Shakespeare, I would recommend Shakespeare Online as a reference. The main reason for that is because it's a reference tool full of multiple references tools in and of itself.
Review of Combat Incorporated (http://www.combatinc.com/index.html)
Fight Choreography is a relatively new term in theatre and film. There are some in the those industries that never considered the necessity of an organized approach to the violence that they might have in their production. Combat Inc. is a valuable organization to use as a source to get professional help with staged violence of all sorts.
If you want credentials, this company has it. There are 10 professionals with extensive resumes who contribute. If you want reasons why you should become involved in stage combat, these professionals have listed a FAQ on their website and are also available for hire. If you want proof that they can help you with your stage fighting in your production, they have included their list of clients. Combat Inc. has literally been there and done it.
This site is primarily for those who want to be taught stage combat. The site itself does not contain any actual instruction or techniques. Be aware that it is an access to a resource, not a resource itself. The professionals who are part of Combat Inc. are the real resources. If you want lessons or professionals to assist you on your production, then you've found the right people.
Assuming their credentials are legitimate, it may be worth the production's time to look into getting help from this company. Like any industry, if the market for this type of service is competitive there may be other companies who could also provide a similar service. The professionals at Combat Inc. are dedicated to making the fights safe, collaborative, and truthful. Their list of clients proves that they've been able to practice that formula repeatedly with success.
This week, as proof of my prowress in downloading educational videos, I've been asked to include one in this blog entry. The only requirement is that the video be educational. It, like the reviews above, was part of my assignment this week. I think it's safe to say, judging by my choice of video, that it pays to be more specific when you give an assignment and that letting students choose for themselves can be disastrous.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I'm a Picture Buff (and no, it's not someone who takes photos in the nude)
I'm including more web/internet thingies in my blog today. As you can see, they are photos taken by myself. My wife is the photographer, I'm the wannabe. Regardless, I have some basic skills in photo manipulation, so as a fall back plan I could land a job in communist propaganda
. Let's see what I did>The first two photos are of what I think Easter is all about--stuffed bunnies and vegetables. The first is the manipulated one. I zoomed in, chose an artistic angle, and played with the color a bit and Voila! Perfection. I call this one Thumper's Harvest.
My wife hates getting her picture taken, so when I can actually get her to pose (or sneak a snapsot when she ain't looking) it's a pretty unique experience. She thought it would cool at Snowquamie Falls to take this shot. I played with the color scheme a bit and the grain. The second one is the final product. This one is titled Catch a Waterfall. . . Literally.
Melissa loves Big Cats. So when we went to the zoo we HAD to get a picture of the tiger. The second shot is the original, taken right before the zookeepers had to drag Melissa down from trying to climb inside the fence to pet the tiger. I zoomed in on the object of her affection and sharpened the colors so that you all see why she wanted to pet him . . . because he's just so cute! I've entitled this one I'm Endangered--Let Me Nap.
I'm particularly proud of this one. The first one is the final product. I cropped the photo and remastered the color so that you can really see the intricacies of the root system of this fallen tree at Snowquamie Falls
. Since I spent so much time photo shopping all the itty bitty details and such I thought it deserved a special name, one which took me days to think of. After much deliberation I decided to call it Tree.Now you might be wondering what the heck am I thinking playing with photos? Well, it's just an assignment. I might add I would have been done earlier with it had the computer not persisted in making my saved work disappear (Some computers have gnomes that steal things-I swear). So at least I learned a lesson in patience. . . the problematic computer, on the other hand, is now six feet under and better stay there.Anyways, I play with photos because I can . . .and because I can I've decided that might be able to be used in an actual classroom setting where students can actually see the picture that is worth a thousand words and start listing what words can be used in it. You know, make 'em think. Why should I do all the work? I spent 5 hours just trying to get it to save correctly.
Oh, by the way, here's a video I think future educators should look at:
Now, while I may agree with most of the items mentioned in that list, I must say the makers of the video will have to try harder than that. To give them a push in the right direction, I've given them a sample Top 10 List of Things You DO Not Learn About Teaching in College:
10. If a Hall Pass Can get lost, it will--oftentimes with a student attached.
9. Parents should get a license before being allowed to breed.
8. It's okay to pretend that you know what you're doing, just as long as no one else can tell that you're faking it.
7. Never be the last one out of a meeting with Assistant Principals, because you will get volunteered.
6. Many Football Players tend to think they are gods compared to other students. Before you worship them too , remember to give these omnipotent ones the "F" they earned in your class. It makes for great drama.
5. The Teachers' Lounge--it's still not a good idea to go in there.
4. Remember to keep all the notes your students pass in class--they make great stand-up material.
3. Snow Days do not equal Free days.
2. If you plan to join the teachers' strike, make sure you have a back-up plan.
1. If you screw up your first fire alarm, it will follow you the rest of your life.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
It's a Small World After All . . . Let's Take Over Jupiter
Before you go on reading any further, watch this video:
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
No, seriously, watch it before you go on:
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
I said, watch the %$#@*!!! video!!!
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Did you feel inspired or motivated? Did you get misty-eyed? If so, what the heck were you watching? That's not the video I posted. I posted something serious. That clip entitled "The Connected Classroom" is something that will definitely make you think. And worry (if you think too much and don't do anything about it).
I'd like to propose we don't go back in time to where students regurgitated their lessons and move on to where they apply them. Of course, we will undoubtedly run into the "Why Do I Have to Learn This?" syndrome or it's counterpart the "What Does This Have to Do With Me?" bug. The symptoms of both include laziness, weight gain, excessive video game playing and TV watching, and in some cases even death. That's right--you heard me. Your students may have a pulse and stuff, but if the brain is not being used they are technically brain dead and, in my expert opinion (which counts the most since I'm writing right now and you're not) legally dead.
Sometimes I wish we could find some way to get all of the lazy and stupid people to stop taking so much for granted. Unfortunately, I find myself in that group from time to time. Well, here's my secret to how I leave it---I make a difference.
Students today get the same propaganda I just hinted at. They know their teachers and peers think or believe they can make a difference. So why don't some of them do so (the lazy and stupid ones that is--you bright kids can ignore everything I'm saying--you go and solve a Rubik's cube or something)? I would say the obvious reason is they don't see a need to. They think they have everything they need to survive and they don't see a need to educate themselves. They don't think the future is going to be any different so they don't prepare for it.
Well, as a teacher I'll be putting a stop to all that wherever possible. How? I have no idea. Maybe I should watch the video again:
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
OK, I know what to do now. I need to find ways to make my subject relevant, appealing, and accessible to my students. Really--it's that simple. Example: A lot of students hate Shakespeare (which is absurd; he never did anything to them). However, I know for a fact students find violence appealing. They also love a good laugh. And they also really find (PG-13 statement coming up) sex very interesting (GASP!). Yes, I know you parents didn't want to hear that but it's the truth. Anyways, I bet these students who find Shakespeare boring don't know that all that sex, violence, and funny stuff was appealing to Shakespeare too. That's why he wrote about it in his plays!
Score:
Teacher: 1
Students:1
Yeah--that's right. The score's tied. Teachers and students have the same knowledge: isn't that the purpose of education?
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
No, seriously, watch it before you go on:
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
I said, watch the %$#@*!!! video!!!
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? Did you feel inspired or motivated? Did you get misty-eyed? If so, what the heck were you watching? That's not the video I posted. I posted something serious. That clip entitled "The Connected Classroom" is something that will definitely make you think. And worry (if you think too much and don't do anything about it).
I'd like to propose we don't go back in time to where students regurgitated their lessons and move on to where they apply them. Of course, we will undoubtedly run into the "Why Do I Have to Learn This?" syndrome or it's counterpart the "What Does This Have to Do With Me?" bug. The symptoms of both include laziness, weight gain, excessive video game playing and TV watching, and in some cases even death. That's right--you heard me. Your students may have a pulse and stuff, but if the brain is not being used they are technically brain dead and, in my expert opinion (which counts the most since I'm writing right now and you're not) legally dead.
Sometimes I wish we could find some way to get all of the lazy and stupid people to stop taking so much for granted. Unfortunately, I find myself in that group from time to time. Well, here's my secret to how I leave it---I make a difference.
Students today get the same propaganda I just hinted at. They know their teachers and peers think or believe they can make a difference. So why don't some of them do so (the lazy and stupid ones that is--you bright kids can ignore everything I'm saying--you go and solve a Rubik's cube or something)? I would say the obvious reason is they don't see a need to. They think they have everything they need to survive and they don't see a need to educate themselves. They don't think the future is going to be any different so they don't prepare for it.
Well, as a teacher I'll be putting a stop to all that wherever possible. How? I have no idea. Maybe I should watch the video again:
http://teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=661&title=The_Connected_Classroom
OK, I know what to do now. I need to find ways to make my subject relevant, appealing, and accessible to my students. Really--it's that simple. Example: A lot of students hate Shakespeare (which is absurd; he never did anything to them). However, I know for a fact students find violence appealing. They also love a good laugh. And they also really find (PG-13 statement coming up) sex very interesting (GASP!). Yes, I know you parents didn't want to hear that but it's the truth. Anyways, I bet these students who find Shakespeare boring don't know that all that sex, violence, and funny stuff was appealing to Shakespeare too. That's why he wrote about it in his plays!
Score:
Teacher: 1
Students:1
Yeah--that's right. The score's tied. Teachers and students have the same knowledge: isn't that the purpose of education?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
My Beliefs
If Doc Waters and I had to duel it out by coming up with cool blog entry titles, I'm pretty sure I'd school her.
Anyways, I must ask myself (because Doc Waters made me) what are my beliefs regarding technology in the classroom. Are there things I'm convinced about? Are there things I'm indifferent about? Am I "anti"anything? I've got you interested now, haven't I? I think I'll format my Classroom Technology beliefs after the fashion of the Blue Comedy Tour ( http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/845218/)
I Believe . . .
Anyways, I must ask myself (because Doc Waters made me) what are my beliefs regarding technology in the classroom. Are there things I'm convinced about? Are there things I'm indifferent about? Am I "anti"anything? I've got you interested now, haven't I? I think I'll format my Classroom Technology beliefs after the fashion of the Blue Comedy Tour ( http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/845218/)
I Believe . . .
- Keyboards and soft drinks don't get along so well.
I Believe . . .
- Students won't learn anything unless they really want to. If they don't like the technology or material being used, they will suffer academically.
I Believe . . .
- It's the teachers' job to make sure that last statement happens as minimally as possible.
I Believe . . .
- If a student is bored, it's not them and it's not the material--It's the Teacher.
I Believe . . .
- If Mankind was unable to survive without the cell phone, God would have created man with a Bluetooth attachment permanently fixed in his ear.
I Believe . . .
- On the 8th Day, God created Macs.
I Believe . . .
- On the 9th Day, God created PCs to keep things interesting.
I Believe . . .
- Every piece of technology out there can be used in a constructive way.
I Believe . . .
- Every piece of technology out there can be used in a destructive way.
I Believe . . .
- I can teach anything to anybody.
I Believe . . .
- I can't teach anybody those "anythings" wherever or whenever I want. Preparation and Setting are very important.
I Believe . . .
- The Internet is a Wonderful and Scary place.
I Believe . . .
- The World is a Wonderful and Scary place.
I Believe . . .
- Men who ask Women out by Text Message or Email should only do so if they have a note from their doctor stating that their tongue has been removed.
I Believe . . .
- Doc Waters is shaking her head right now as she reads this.
Lessons Learned
Again, the title wasn't my choosing. I would have selected something more catchy like "101 Ways to Pass Out" or "Belching: The Questions You've Always Wanted to Ask But Were Afraid To"--oh well.
The lessons learned is again in reference to the unit I'm taking about technology in the classroom. I've come up with some good ones. Here are Top 10 Basic Lessons I've learned about Implementing Technology in the Classroom.
The lessons learned is again in reference to the unit I'm taking about technology in the classroom. I've come up with some good ones. Here are Top 10 Basic Lessons I've learned about Implementing Technology in the Classroom.
- Students will always want to use the latest piece of technology they've heard of, even if they have no clue on how it works or how to use it.
- Students like to be lazy (just like adults, their predecessors). If there is an easier way, they'll want to do it.
- Most students know way more than I do about the latest cell phone and multimedia gadgets out there. I'm not going to bother learning how to use all of them since they'll be more than willing to show me how and do it for me anyways.
- Despite all they can do, you can survive without that cell phone.
- If Students continue to text at the current rate, within a million years the basic human's thumb will have evolved to the size of a banana.
- The Best way to meet several students' learning needs/preferences is to integrate several different tools, methods, and technologies as possible. Keep them on their toes and engage their 5 senses as much as possible. Do that until Osmosis kicks in.
- Before I die the book as I know it, the physical object with actual pages, may cease to exist. In fact I won't be surprised if I hear that a printed copy of Tolstoy's War and Peace is bad for the environment.
- Online Social Networking will never compare to the real thing. A real friend in the flesh beats the heck out of all the IMs you might get.
- Despite all the technological upgrades, reading and writing will still be necessary to move up in the world.
- For every positive thing you can possibly do with new technology, some jerk will find a negative thing using the same breakthrough.
My students better prepare themselves for someone who knows how to use the technology out there but isn't afraid to go Old School on them.
Strengths & Weaknesses
I don't like that title. Doc Waters made me use it. I detest it because it may lead you, the reader who'll believe anything on the internet, that I may have imperfections. You'd be right, but that's beside the point--I'm trying to maintain an image here. Oh, in case you're wondering, the strengths and weaknesses are dealing with my abilities to use technology in the classroom as a teacher. Apparently there are standards regarding them so, again, I must learn how to cheat the system.
Regardless, if I don't say something semi-intelligent and reflective here my grade in Doc Waters' class might suffer. This calls for tact and desire for self-reflection/improvement. Since I have neither I will now turn the time over to Peter Positive (PP) and Nathan Negative (NN). They're being paid by the hour, so their statements will be brief.
PP: Our employer appears to have a basic grasp of Microsoft tools and Internet advantages.
NN: He also rarely does anything original with either.
PP: On the other hand, he does appear to be creatively inclined and would be able to design lesson plans that could include several aspects of technology.
NN: On the other hand, he doesn't feel inclined to do that for every single lesson plan.
PP: The subject did score an average marks on the UNI Preservice Teacher Technology Competencies surveys assigned.
NN: His average technology scores mean just that--he's average. He doesn't wow you with his abilities.
(Watch it Nate. You might be a figment of my imagination but I can still take you.)
PP: My opinion is that the subject, to improve his web design capabilities, would do well to learn some design and application tutorials, like "Introduction to Designing Accessible Websites " on eClasses.org. To better learn how to technology could be used in his regular lesson plans, he should go to About.com and in their Secondary Education unit take "How To Write Lesson Plans" by Melissa Kelly.
NN: He would also do well to review the basic "How To" guides of every piece of technology he uses, including the light switch. This guy needs serious he . . .
BANG!!!
Nate won't be providing any more insights. How about you, Pete? Anything else you wanna add?
PP: ummm, no sir.
Good man.
Regardless, if I don't say something semi-intelligent and reflective here my grade in Doc Waters' class might suffer. This calls for tact and desire for self-reflection/improvement. Since I have neither I will now turn the time over to Peter Positive (PP) and Nathan Negative (NN). They're being paid by the hour, so their statements will be brief.
PP: Our employer appears to have a basic grasp of Microsoft tools and Internet advantages.
NN: He also rarely does anything original with either.
PP: On the other hand, he does appear to be creatively inclined and would be able to design lesson plans that could include several aspects of technology.
NN: On the other hand, he doesn't feel inclined to do that for every single lesson plan.
PP: The subject did score an average marks on the UNI Preservice Teacher Technology Competencies surveys assigned.
NN: His average technology scores mean just that--he's average. He doesn't wow you with his abilities.
(Watch it Nate. You might be a figment of my imagination but I can still take you.)
PP: My opinion is that the subject, to improve his web design capabilities, would do well to learn some design and application tutorials, like "Introduction to Designing Accessible Websites " on eClasses.org. To better learn how to technology could be used in his regular lesson plans, he should go to About.com and in their Secondary Education unit take "How To Write Lesson Plans" by Melissa Kelly.
NN: He would also do well to review the basic "How To" guides of every piece of technology he uses, including the light switch. This guy needs serious he . . .
BANG!!!
Nate won't be providing any more insights. How about you, Pete? Anything else you wanna add?
PP: ummm, no sir.
Good man.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
One More Thing . . .
There is something to be said about Power Point presentations . . .
And I said it all last week. But if you’d like me to say something else, I guess I could make something up that sounds intelligent (politicians do it all the time, why can’t I?).
First, let me refer you to the following youtube link of a comedian showing how not to use PowerPoint. At least I think he’s a comedian. He could be an unemployed Business Analyst looking for a job. I’ll let you decide.
Video Link
But this guy brings up a good point. There are ways to screw up a good thing. Every piece of technology that has ever been invented someone has found a way to make the inventor want to puke. Give me an example. The automobile? Yeah that’s good, but some redneck/donkey hybrid decided a low-rider pickup truck would be cool (and no, it’s not cool if it’s completely ridiculous). How about the TV? That’s an invention even the poor people can’t even seem to live without. How could someone possibly mess up that? How about creating a TV show for kids (so you can scar them for life) about a homosexual purple dinosaur named Barney of all names? I’m getting sick just writing about him.
Now, anyone who works in education knows that students can and will surprise you. Sometimes those surprises are, well, not so good. We teachers are in positions of power though. We are in the position to dissuade or correct these mistakes. I prefer the unraveled metal coat hanger approach. When a student does something stupid I’d just whack him/her with the coat hanger. Hey, I could use a cat-of-nine-tails and just give’em an old fashioned flogging.
Anyways, PowerPoint is just one thing that could be a blessing or a curse in the classroom. My approach is to let the students experiment so that they at least feel like their creative juices are being acknowledged. And if the mess up? My friend the coat hanger will come to the rescue.
And I said it all last week. But if you’d like me to say something else, I guess I could make something up that sounds intelligent (politicians do it all the time, why can’t I?).
First, let me refer you to the following youtube link of a comedian showing how not to use PowerPoint. At least I think he’s a comedian. He could be an unemployed Business Analyst looking for a job. I’ll let you decide.
Video Link
But this guy brings up a good point. There are ways to screw up a good thing. Every piece of technology that has ever been invented someone has found a way to make the inventor want to puke. Give me an example. The automobile? Yeah that’s good, but some redneck/donkey hybrid decided a low-rider pickup truck would be cool (and no, it’s not cool if it’s completely ridiculous). How about the TV? That’s an invention even the poor people can’t even seem to live without. How could someone possibly mess up that? How about creating a TV show for kids (so you can scar them for life) about a homosexual purple dinosaur named Barney of all names? I’m getting sick just writing about him.
Now, anyone who works in education knows that students can and will surprise you. Sometimes those surprises are, well, not so good. We teachers are in positions of power though. We are in the position to dissuade or correct these mistakes. I prefer the unraveled metal coat hanger approach. When a student does something stupid I’d just whack him/her with the coat hanger. Hey, I could use a cat-of-nine-tails and just give’em an old fashioned flogging.
Anyways, PowerPoint is just one thing that could be a blessing or a curse in the classroom. My approach is to let the students experiment so that they at least feel like their creative juices are being acknowledged. And if the mess up? My friend the coat hanger will come to the rescue.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Slackers Anonymous
If you're reading this post, you're already in the club.
Lucky for you this organization isn't nit-picky or anything. In fact, now that I think about it, everyone is a bonafied member of Slackers Anonymous. If you are a registered human from the planet Earth, you are automatically inducted into this club. If you are an extra-terrestrial reading this blog, get off my planet--I already called dibs.
Let me give you a quick example of how the human race is nothing but a bunch of slackers. In class for Tech Ed., one of our required texts was this Power Point booklet thingy. We were supposed to have already purchased it from the College Textbook Abyss (more commonly called the money-grubbers). Anyways, guess how many students had the book? 2. Oh, and in case you're wondering, those 2 students ain't human. Trust me, they ain't normal--I know these things. I have an on-line degree bought on e-Bay.
Power Point was something I mastered in high school. No, I wasn't a child prodigy or anything (but only because I didn't want to blow my cover). If a bunch of hormone frenzied teenagers can do it, it's not hard. I remember being assigned to do a PowerPoint presentation of the attractions of Panama. All I had to do was browse the Internet, find a bunch of websites showing the native Amazon women of Panama, and then copied/pasted the most risque pictures of them on a slideshow . I got an A+ (Dad was proud, Mom disowned me).
Given the fact that it is not a hard thing to do (creating a Power Point presentation, that is), that in and of itself is a clue as to how a teacher might use it in class. Admit it you educators--if a student finds an assignment too hard, it's difficult to get them to do even look at it. However, the ease of the assignment just draws them in--especially when you tell them that they can use the slideshow to teach.
Wait, what? The student teach? Isn't that a reversal of the roles? Actually, it's what they want sometimes. Be honest, how many times do you educators hear "Why are we learning this?" That's a clue that they'd rather be learning about something else. If that isn't a big enough clue, maybe the dozing in class or the short attention spans will make it clear to you. Oh look--Shiny object!
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was making a point. That point is when a person teaches, they have to already know the lesson. Do you get where I'm going with this? If you are like me, then you love tricking the students into learning something. No one said they had to know about it, did they? I, for one, am now an expert on Amazon Women from Panama. I even went to get a degree in that field at a Yard Sale.
Lucky for you this organization isn't nit-picky or anything. In fact, now that I think about it, everyone is a bonafied member of Slackers Anonymous. If you are a registered human from the planet Earth, you are automatically inducted into this club. If you are an extra-terrestrial reading this blog, get off my planet--I already called dibs.
Let me give you a quick example of how the human race is nothing but a bunch of slackers. In class for Tech Ed., one of our required texts was this Power Point booklet thingy. We were supposed to have already purchased it from the College Textbook Abyss (more commonly called the money-grubbers). Anyways, guess how many students had the book? 2. Oh, and in case you're wondering, those 2 students ain't human. Trust me, they ain't normal--I know these things. I have an on-line degree bought on e-Bay.
Power Point was something I mastered in high school. No, I wasn't a child prodigy or anything (but only because I didn't want to blow my cover). If a bunch of hormone frenzied teenagers can do it, it's not hard. I remember being assigned to do a PowerPoint presentation of the attractions of Panama. All I had to do was browse the Internet, find a bunch of websites showing the native Amazon women of Panama, and then copied/pasted the most risque pictures of them on a slideshow . I got an A+ (Dad was proud, Mom disowned me).
Given the fact that it is not a hard thing to do (creating a Power Point presentation, that is), that in and of itself is a clue as to how a teacher might use it in class. Admit it you educators--if a student finds an assignment too hard, it's difficult to get them to do even look at it. However, the ease of the assignment just draws them in--especially when you tell them that they can use the slideshow to teach.
Wait, what? The student teach? Isn't that a reversal of the roles? Actually, it's what they want sometimes. Be honest, how many times do you educators hear "Why are we learning this?" That's a clue that they'd rather be learning about something else. If that isn't a big enough clue, maybe the dozing in class or the short attention spans will make it clear to you. Oh look--Shiny object!
Where was I? Oh yeah, I was making a point. That point is when a person teaches, they have to already know the lesson. Do you get where I'm going with this? If you are like me, then you love tricking the students into learning something. No one said they had to know about it, did they? I, for one, am now an expert on Amazon Women from Panama. I even went to get a degree in that field at a Yard Sale.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Quest Complete!
(before you begin reading, you may want to be playing some appropriate music dealing with this post's message. May I recommend Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" to you?)
Doc Waters isn't getting the hint.
No disrespect or nothing, but she is still trying to break me. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you Doc Waters. Why would you want to do such a thing? Some of you old school teachers might say "you have to break them down in order to buld them up" or some philosophical mumbo jumbo like that. Well, too bad. I've got better things to do than get defeated by an assignment. Remember WebQuest from last week? Yeah, well, I hope it was a fond memory. Nice try, Doc.
Some of you may be thinking "Wait . . . isn't this the same guy who complained in an earlier post? Wasn't he griping about having to work hard on something?" To those naysayers let me clarify something. I can do anything. Let me repeat that. ANYTHING. That doesn't mean I have to like it. That's the first lesson you should learn when you begin transforming into an adult. No one says I had to enjoy the stuff I didn't like.
That's not to say the experiences aren't useful. A task is usually the hardest the first time around when you don't know diddly-squat about it. Now I know I can do this WebQuest stuff . . . if I want to (maybe I can use it as punishment in my classroom). In the meantime, as a result of the ordeal I know more, can do more, and have the satisfaction of taking out another opponent in the road to world domination, or a teaching career--they're the same thing.
If you're shaking now, wait for this next bit. A little bit more than a year ago there was this young man named Dalton Sherman. Dalton did something few people can say they've done. He delievered a 7 minute memorized speech to a crowd of 20,000 some people. Impressed? Well brace yourself for this additional fact: he was just a kid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAMLOnSNwzA). Ever heard of the study that found out people's biggest fear wasn't death, but speaking in public? Well, we've got a kid here who isn't afraid of death, it seems, because he nailed that speech of his. What was the topic? Believing in Education. His audience? Educators.
How many of you educators want Dalton in your classroom? All of you, hopefully. Who doesn't want a fearless student. Those are the ones that change the world. Now ask yourself this: Are you doing anything that would increase the fear your student(s) might have? Think about that. You may not mean to, but it happens. I like to think of the lessons in the book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." Young kids think they can do anything. Here's a fact--they can. Heck, I conquered WebQuest. Why not a kid? Look up that book--there are no lessons about fear. None.
I say we don't teach fear. What about you?
Doc Waters isn't getting the hint.
No disrespect or nothing, but she is still trying to break me. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you Doc Waters. Why would you want to do such a thing? Some of you old school teachers might say "you have to break them down in order to buld them up" or some philosophical mumbo jumbo like that. Well, too bad. I've got better things to do than get defeated by an assignment. Remember WebQuest from last week? Yeah, well, I hope it was a fond memory. Nice try, Doc.
Some of you may be thinking "Wait . . . isn't this the same guy who complained in an earlier post? Wasn't he griping about having to work hard on something?" To those naysayers let me clarify something. I can do anything. Let me repeat that. ANYTHING. That doesn't mean I have to like it. That's the first lesson you should learn when you begin transforming into an adult. No one says I had to enjoy the stuff I didn't like.
That's not to say the experiences aren't useful. A task is usually the hardest the first time around when you don't know diddly-squat about it. Now I know I can do this WebQuest stuff . . . if I want to (maybe I can use it as punishment in my classroom). In the meantime, as a result of the ordeal I know more, can do more, and have the satisfaction of taking out another opponent in the road to world domination, or a teaching career--they're the same thing.
If you're shaking now, wait for this next bit. A little bit more than a year ago there was this young man named Dalton Sherman. Dalton did something few people can say they've done. He delievered a 7 minute memorized speech to a crowd of 20,000 some people. Impressed? Well brace yourself for this additional fact: he was just a kid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAMLOnSNwzA). Ever heard of the study that found out people's biggest fear wasn't death, but speaking in public? Well, we've got a kid here who isn't afraid of death, it seems, because he nailed that speech of his. What was the topic? Believing in Education. His audience? Educators.
How many of you educators want Dalton in your classroom? All of you, hopefully. Who doesn't want a fearless student. Those are the ones that change the world. Now ask yourself this: Are you doing anything that would increase the fear your student(s) might have? Think about that. You may not mean to, but it happens. I like to think of the lessons in the book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." Young kids think they can do anything. Here's a fact--they can. Heck, I conquered WebQuest. Why not a kid? Look up that book--there are no lessons about fear. None.
I say we don't teach fear. What about you?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
WebQuest: The Legend Begins
As a kid I used to play some role-playing computer games on my parents’ PC. I don’t play them nowadays because my parents won’t let me live at home anymore. So I’ve been going through some major withdrawal in regards to my gaming skills. Among the games I wasted so many glorious days playing were King’s Quest and Hero’s Quest. I even played one called Peasant’s Quest. Now I’ve been told there is a Web Quest.
What’s that? A Web Quest? Sounds suspicious, right? Of course it does, because there is no such thing as a role-playing game called Web Quest. It was a trick by my technology in education instructor (you know, the newest arch nemesis). It turns out that I’m creating this Web Quest. And the worst part is it’s not a role-playing game. It’s supposed to be a teaching tool. So here I find myself the gamer creating a nongame with the objective of teaching something to somebody. Geez, have people forgotten how to read?
The answer to that last question is yes, by the way. Too many people let technology do their teaching for them. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Anyways, I began to think to myself that if I do this right, it could be bent to serve my will (you remember, the world domination thing—cue organ music and evil laugh). For those of you who don’t know what a Web Quest is, let me enlighten you (in other words, brace yourselves). It’s a teaching tool where you give the students instructions of what they will be able to do when they follow the steps. Usually it has them doing research or activities on the web, so the possibilities are endless. You can have a Web Quest designed to learn anything . . . like say world domination? (cue organ music and evil laugh again).
As you can probably guess, there might be some resistance to that lesson plan. Web Quests are better geared for learning useful things for your subject, so I think I’ll use them for teaching the core curriculum of my theatre classes. My students’ parents/guardians may have something against my plots against taking control of the earth, so for now I’ll stick to the curriculum.
. . . for now (final cue of the organ music and evil laugh).
What’s that? A Web Quest? Sounds suspicious, right? Of course it does, because there is no such thing as a role-playing game called Web Quest. It was a trick by my technology in education instructor (you know, the newest arch nemesis). It turns out that I’m creating this Web Quest. And the worst part is it’s not a role-playing game. It’s supposed to be a teaching tool. So here I find myself the gamer creating a nongame with the objective of teaching something to somebody. Geez, have people forgotten how to read?
The answer to that last question is yes, by the way. Too many people let technology do their teaching for them. Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
Anyways, I began to think to myself that if I do this right, it could be bent to serve my will (you remember, the world domination thing—cue organ music and evil laugh). For those of you who don’t know what a Web Quest is, let me enlighten you (in other words, brace yourselves). It’s a teaching tool where you give the students instructions of what they will be able to do when they follow the steps. Usually it has them doing research or activities on the web, so the possibilities are endless. You can have a Web Quest designed to learn anything . . . like say world domination? (cue organ music and evil laugh again).
As you can probably guess, there might be some resistance to that lesson plan. Web Quests are better geared for learning useful things for your subject, so I think I’ll use them for teaching the core curriculum of my theatre classes. My students’ parents/guardians may have something against my plots against taking control of the earth, so for now I’ll stick to the curriculum.
. . . for now (final cue of the organ music and evil laugh).
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Look Both Ways Before You Double Click
I'm going to be serious--yes it's possible.
In case you hadn't heard, there is this revolutionary thing called the Internet. If you haven't heard of it, how in the heck did you get to this blog? Anyways, like all things, if it is used correctly, it can be a great thing. Mankind has a habit of taking things that can be beneficial and also making them destructive. As an educator, I would be a fool to not realize two things: (1) The potential abundance of learning resources found on the Internet and (2) The potential abundance of danger found online.
This week's assignment I found quite necessary--not that I like to work mind you (I'm a man--it's in my DNA). The reason it was necessary is it reviewed the basics of internet safety and addressed how to approach my students with its use. One part of the assignment asked me to respond to the following 4 requests.
Why we should or should not use the Internet in education? Well, we want to learn stuff, and there is stuff on the Internet. Any educator out there will tell you that there is good stuff and bad stuff to learn. There are good books, good magazines/periodicals, good films for education, and bad ones. The Internet is no different. There are good websites and bad ones. Unless you want to completely shelter a student from both the good and the bad, the Internet should be used as a learning source.
Why we should evaluate the sites we use? We evaluate the sites we use because as a general rule you should always validate the sources you are teaching from. You could be a master of logical fallicy, but eventually you will get asked "How do you know?" If you don't have a fool-proof answer, you aren't validated in your teaching.
The questions you would ask yourself to evaluate a site. I would ask the following questions: Does this site enhance or detract from the lesson I'm teaching? If I were the parent/guardian of a student looking at this website, would they be ok with it?
Ways you can keep your students safe while surfing. First and foremost, always keep the computer they are using in a public area. Second, review with the students all the traps, pitfalls, do's and don'ts of browsing, etc. Finally, if you can, install filters to prevent not so nice websites from being accessed by them.
The Internet can be a fun and safe place. Again, I repeat, it all depends on how you use it. For example, check out this video link: http://www.teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=6882&title=We_Didn_t_Start_the_Fire
Did you enjoy that? Of course, it's Billy Joel for crying out loud. Did you notice you were learning something? I know it wasn't intentional, but I bet you learned a thing or two. That was 4 decades of review set to music with visual aids. Videos can stimulate both visual and audio senses, both handy in teaching. Guess what? Here's the kicker--you found it on the Internet (gasp). Don't you feel good about that? The great thing is that there is more where that came from.
Just watch where you click--there is a lot of #$%*&! out there.
In case you hadn't heard, there is this revolutionary thing called the Internet. If you haven't heard of it, how in the heck did you get to this blog? Anyways, like all things, if it is used correctly, it can be a great thing. Mankind has a habit of taking things that can be beneficial and also making them destructive. As an educator, I would be a fool to not realize two things: (1) The potential abundance of learning resources found on the Internet and (2) The potential abundance of danger found online.
This week's assignment I found quite necessary--not that I like to work mind you (I'm a man--it's in my DNA). The reason it was necessary is it reviewed the basics of internet safety and addressed how to approach my students with its use. One part of the assignment asked me to respond to the following 4 requests.
Why we should or should not use the Internet in education? Well, we want to learn stuff, and there is stuff on the Internet. Any educator out there will tell you that there is good stuff and bad stuff to learn. There are good books, good magazines/periodicals, good films for education, and bad ones. The Internet is no different. There are good websites and bad ones. Unless you want to completely shelter a student from both the good and the bad, the Internet should be used as a learning source.
Why we should evaluate the sites we use? We evaluate the sites we use because as a general rule you should always validate the sources you are teaching from. You could be a master of logical fallicy, but eventually you will get asked "How do you know?" If you don't have a fool-proof answer, you aren't validated in your teaching.
The questions you would ask yourself to evaluate a site. I would ask the following questions: Does this site enhance or detract from the lesson I'm teaching? If I were the parent/guardian of a student looking at this website, would they be ok with it?
Ways you can keep your students safe while surfing. First and foremost, always keep the computer they are using in a public area. Second, review with the students all the traps, pitfalls, do's and don'ts of browsing, etc. Finally, if you can, install filters to prevent not so nice websites from being accessed by them.
The Internet can be a fun and safe place. Again, I repeat, it all depends on how you use it. For example, check out this video link: http://www.teachertube.com/viewVideo.php?video_id=6882&title=We_Didn_t_Start_the_Fire
Did you enjoy that? Of course, it's Billy Joel for crying out loud. Did you notice you were learning something? I know it wasn't intentional, but I bet you learned a thing or two. That was 4 decades of review set to music with visual aids. Videos can stimulate both visual and audio senses, both handy in teaching. Guess what? Here's the kicker--you found it on the Internet (gasp). Don't you feel good about that? The great thing is that there is more where that came from.
Just watch where you click--there is a lot of #$%*&! out there.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I Must Have Done Something Wrong. . .
In the past, when I’ve had instructors with enough nerve to make their students actually do work, I learned quickly what the warning signs were for those assignments from Hell. Such things they’d say like “divided into groups” or “research project” always raised a red flag. Once in a while the teacher would say “if your family has a history of medical problems, you may not make it through this assignment.”
This week, I was told that most people take more than 6 hours to complete the assignment I was given. Where I come from, that’s cruel and unusual punishment. I must be getting punished for something.
Ever since the assignment was dished out to me I’ve been wracking my brain. What have I done to upset the Gods of Academia? Was it the time I tricked a kid into sitting on my sharpened pencil? Or maybe it was my made up “works cited” page for my research project? I think it is most likely the time I told a teacher I hoped I didn’t see her again.
By the way, those things I just wrote—they’re all true.
I thought I’d already served my penance, but apparently karma has a lag time. A note to my parents and detention wasn’t enough, so I’m paying for it now.
Oh, in case you’re wondering, I haven’t finished the assignment yet. What assignment is that you might ask? Well, there is the website thingamajig for Utah teachers called UEN. You can use it to make a website for your classes and also take a look at resources other teachers have posted (I believe that is called “mooching”). In order to get better acquainted with this website, we were given a scavenger hunt to do. To me, a scavenger hunt is one where you use the clues given to you to find the treasure at the end. Not this time. I already asked; no treasure.
I guess this is one of those things were you work hard just to persevere over an unbeatable task so that you can have a feeling of victory when you beat the odds. I hate those. But I guess this will help me in the long run (it better or my instructor will have some explaining to do). I’m okay with mooching—less work for me and if it works, hey, it works. Plus, there’s no better way to get a feeling of omnipotence than creating a website that your students have to go to if they want to do well in your class (dance, my little children, dance!). Oh, and heaven forbid they actually use the web stuff I got and learn something. Actually, I bet half of them already can do all the stuff I’m doing right now. That ain’t fair—these kids have had the Internet around since they were born. Me? When I was a high school freshman the Internet was brand new. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know I’m a superior human specimen, these kids might make me nervous.
I guess this UEN thing can be a good thing. I’m not talking about the mooching or the beating the odds stuff. I’m talking about if I can do this, then I might actually have a shot at this world domination thing. UEN first, and then the world. Oh yeah—it’s gonna happen.
This week, I was told that most people take more than 6 hours to complete the assignment I was given. Where I come from, that’s cruel and unusual punishment. I must be getting punished for something.
Ever since the assignment was dished out to me I’ve been wracking my brain. What have I done to upset the Gods of Academia? Was it the time I tricked a kid into sitting on my sharpened pencil? Or maybe it was my made up “works cited” page for my research project? I think it is most likely the time I told a teacher I hoped I didn’t see her again.
By the way, those things I just wrote—they’re all true.
I thought I’d already served my penance, but apparently karma has a lag time. A note to my parents and detention wasn’t enough, so I’m paying for it now.
Oh, in case you’re wondering, I haven’t finished the assignment yet. What assignment is that you might ask? Well, there is the website thingamajig for Utah teachers called UEN. You can use it to make a website for your classes and also take a look at resources other teachers have posted (I believe that is called “mooching”). In order to get better acquainted with this website, we were given a scavenger hunt to do. To me, a scavenger hunt is one where you use the clues given to you to find the treasure at the end. Not this time. I already asked; no treasure.
I guess this is one of those things were you work hard just to persevere over an unbeatable task so that you can have a feeling of victory when you beat the odds. I hate those. But I guess this will help me in the long run (it better or my instructor will have some explaining to do). I’m okay with mooching—less work for me and if it works, hey, it works. Plus, there’s no better way to get a feeling of omnipotence than creating a website that your students have to go to if they want to do well in your class (dance, my little children, dance!). Oh, and heaven forbid they actually use the web stuff I got and learn something. Actually, I bet half of them already can do all the stuff I’m doing right now. That ain’t fair—these kids have had the Internet around since they were born. Me? When I was a high school freshman the Internet was brand new. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know I’m a superior human specimen, these kids might make me nervous.
I guess this UEN thing can be a good thing. I’m not talking about the mooching or the beating the odds stuff. I’m talking about if I can do this, then I might actually have a shot at this world domination thing. UEN first, and then the world. Oh yeah—it’s gonna happen.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Google Strikes Again
I have come to the conclusion that Google programs are a good thing. I have seen the light. In other words, I've finally learned how to use these programs.
Not that it was hard or anything. It just takes a college course and 2 hours a week of which I spend tuition money on, nothing big. I think I'm getting the better end of the deal. I have learned how to create my own website using Google Sites and will shortly be able to communicate to a mass audience my devious plans for world domination. In a short while I'll start with my propaganda. I've decided to use Gary Larson's "The Far Side" to win people to my cause.
I can schedule things on a Calendar, pass on Announcements, maybe even post a youtube video of the Numa Numa guy. The possibilities are endless. No one can stand in my way! BWA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!!!
But back in the civilian world where one must have a day job as a cover, my teaching skills can also benefit from GoogleSites. As long as my students don't find the Internet offensive or sinful (which their parents might, but I'm not entering that debate right now), they will have no excuses for not knowing what is happening in my class(es). Well, unless they don't have access to the Internet, but that is a minimal chance so we press on anyway. Say for example Susan is in my class and she, like normal teenagers, has trouble paying attention. I, being the nasty tyrant that I am don't feel like repeating the assignment I just gave. I think I will have to instead use thumbscrews on this student in order to get her to realize paying attention is a good thing. Regardless, Susan doesn't need to fear just yet. If she forgets that her merciful instructor (that's still me, if you've forgotten) has given her access to a website she can view the assignments and announcements I've posted, then she's in trouble (make that TWO orders of thumbscrews!).
If you are a teacher, you will always have your fair share of Susans in your class. Don't kill them when they don't remember what you just asked them to work on. Wait until they've gone to your website you posted about their class showing all they need to know. If they forget to go there and therefore still don't remember what it is you assigned them, then you will most likely have a reason to take them out. But in the meantime, enjoy your website. Just a click here and a typed-thingy there, and "Voila!" You've got a new classroom organizational tool.
Now if only you could remember your Google username and password . . .
Not that it was hard or anything. It just takes a college course and 2 hours a week of which I spend tuition money on, nothing big. I think I'm getting the better end of the deal. I have learned how to create my own website using Google Sites and will shortly be able to communicate to a mass audience my devious plans for world domination. In a short while I'll start with my propaganda. I've decided to use Gary Larson's "The Far Side" to win people to my cause.
I can schedule things on a Calendar, pass on Announcements, maybe even post a youtube video of the Numa Numa guy. The possibilities are endless. No one can stand in my way! BWA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!!!
But back in the civilian world where one must have a day job as a cover, my teaching skills can also benefit from GoogleSites. As long as my students don't find the Internet offensive or sinful (which their parents might, but I'm not entering that debate right now), they will have no excuses for not knowing what is happening in my class(es). Well, unless they don't have access to the Internet, but that is a minimal chance so we press on anyway. Say for example Susan is in my class and she, like normal teenagers, has trouble paying attention. I, being the nasty tyrant that I am don't feel like repeating the assignment I just gave. I think I will have to instead use thumbscrews on this student in order to get her to realize paying attention is a good thing. Regardless, Susan doesn't need to fear just yet. If she forgets that her merciful instructor (that's still me, if you've forgotten) has given her access to a website she can view the assignments and announcements I've posted, then she's in trouble (make that TWO orders of thumbscrews!).
If you are a teacher, you will always have your fair share of Susans in your class. Don't kill them when they don't remember what you just asked them to work on. Wait until they've gone to your website you posted about their class showing all they need to know. If they forget to go there and therefore still don't remember what it is you assigned them, then you will most likely have a reason to take them out. But in the meantime, enjoy your website. Just a click here and a typed-thingy there, and "Voila!" You've got a new classroom organizational tool.
Now if only you could remember your Google username and password . . .
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Enter the Techno Geek
Google is trying to take over the world.
For those of you who are able to, go to google right now and take a look at their stuff. I mean it. Go ahead. I'll wait.
See what I mean? What are the makers of Google up to? Why in the world would you need all those applications? They have calendars, places to make and store documents, you can start your own web page even. Impressed? You should be. Scared? I sure as heck am. There's no telling what they'll come up with next.
Now I know what their real scheme is. Apparently I'm not the only one with ambitions for world domination. Google is just doing a better job at it than me. My options are as follows:
(1) Go to a different planet and start plotting from scratch.
(2) Find some way of buying all of Google's shares so that they work for me. I don't have that kind of cash, so I'll probably have to open up a lemonde stand or two.
(3) Change my name to "Bob" and wipe away all records of my true identity.
(4) Use these Google apps to further my own ambitions while I pretend to be submissive to their will and when the moment is right, take 'em out!
For those of you who are wondering, options 1-4 can be done using Google anyway.
Option 4 is the most plausible and less complicated option. I shall therefore apply the Google propaganda into my Drama class. How, you might ask? Simple . . . just use the darn thing.
Stop laughing; I actually have a point here. What amazes me is that as you start to use the applications one realizes how your day to day activities can be served or even enhanced by Google's services. As a teacher, handouts are my primary weapon of choice. I figure the more papers you hand to a student the more likely they'll get a papercut (that'll learn 'em). Google has this app called Google.docs (by the way, their applications will begin to sand like Batman's toys: Batarang, Batmobile, Bat-Shark-Repellent-Spray and no I'm not making that last one up). Basically anywhere I go where there's an internet connection I can work on my paper handout missiles for my targets, I mean students.
We teachers (and teachers-to-be) must use all of the tools available to us if we are to use all of the teaching methods available to us. Quick example is one Mr. Duey, a Math Teacher/Rapper (no, that ain't no typo) who posted a music video teaching some basics about fractions. 50 years ago no one would've ever thought to do something like this. That's mainly because there was no such thing as rap or the internet yet (waahh-haaa-haa--I kill myself sometimes). A teacher who can appeal to multiple senses and interests to students will always have a huge impact in the learning process. Which reminds me; I now have to wrap up this post in order to finish my Polka video about the Watergate scandal for my Music/History class.
For those of you who are able to, go to google right now and take a look at their stuff. I mean it. Go ahead. I'll wait.
See what I mean? What are the makers of Google up to? Why in the world would you need all those applications? They have calendars, places to make and store documents, you can start your own web page even. Impressed? You should be. Scared? I sure as heck am. There's no telling what they'll come up with next.
Now I know what their real scheme is. Apparently I'm not the only one with ambitions for world domination. Google is just doing a better job at it than me. My options are as follows:
(1) Go to a different planet and start plotting from scratch.
(2) Find some way of buying all of Google's shares so that they work for me. I don't have that kind of cash, so I'll probably have to open up a lemonde stand or two.
(3) Change my name to "Bob" and wipe away all records of my true identity.
(4) Use these Google apps to further my own ambitions while I pretend to be submissive to their will and when the moment is right, take 'em out!
For those of you who are wondering, options 1-4 can be done using Google anyway.
Option 4 is the most plausible and less complicated option. I shall therefore apply the Google propaganda into my Drama class. How, you might ask? Simple . . . just use the darn thing.
Stop laughing; I actually have a point here. What amazes me is that as you start to use the applications one realizes how your day to day activities can be served or even enhanced by Google's services. As a teacher, handouts are my primary weapon of choice. I figure the more papers you hand to a student the more likely they'll get a papercut (that'll learn 'em). Google has this app called Google.docs (by the way, their applications will begin to sand like Batman's toys: Batarang, Batmobile, Bat-Shark-Repellent-Spray and no I'm not making that last one up). Basically anywhere I go where there's an internet connection I can work on my paper handout missiles for my targets, I mean students.
We teachers (and teachers-to-be) must use all of the tools available to us if we are to use all of the teaching methods available to us. Quick example is one Mr. Duey, a Math Teacher/Rapper (no, that ain't no typo) who posted a music video teaching some basics about fractions. 50 years ago no one would've ever thought to do something like this. That's mainly because there was no such thing as rap or the internet yet (waahh-haaa-haa--I kill myself sometimes). A teacher who can appeal to multiple senses and interests to students will always have a huge impact in the learning process. Which reminds me; I now have to wrap up this post in order to finish my Polka video about the Watergate scandal for my Music/History class.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I'm Back . . .
I've had a busy spring and summer. That's why there aren't any posts since last February (well, that and I'm lazy--deal with it). If you want to know what I've been up to all this time, I'm sorry, I don't have time for that. That's why I have press agents.
You may legitimately ask: Why is Jakob starting to write again on his obnoxious dust covered blog again? Well, I must first remind you why I started it in the first place. It was a requirement that a college instructor of mine MADE me do in order to pass her class. Her name is Dr. Suzie Cox if you want to track her down. Her objective was to get my insights and feedback in hopes that my constructive ramblings might prove to be useful and purposeful to her. Well, I did exactly what she wanted. I gave her my true insights and feedback all the way up until the end of the semester.
I haven't heard from her since.
That brings us to today. Apparently I have another challenger. A new subject and a new instructor: Instructional media, "Doc" Sandie Waters. Doc Waters has lived everywhere, has several advanced degrees, and is a 1st degree black belt in Karate. Feels like a comic book--someone has created my perfect Arch-nemesis to my Superhero character. Or is she the hero and I'm the villain? Only time will tell.
Round 1
Doc Waters' first attack is an attempt to get inside my head and find out what I'm thinking. We all remember what that did to Dr. Cox, so this should be fun (and perhaps a bit messy). My "assignment" is to write about what I would consider to be the Perfect Classroom. If you all recall, I'm masquerading as a Drama Teacher (in training) as part of my super-plot to take over the world. So I'll be letting you in on what you're enslaved futures will be like when I'm in charge (which is a good thing--trust me).
In my Perfect Classroom, there are no stupid people. Enough said.
(Doc Waters wants more details. . . so brace yourselves)
I would like to see a classroom filled with students of all ages, races, (species?) who have one goal in mind: How can I become a better individual? If they do not want to improve themselves, they'll get the boot. I wouldn't have to boot to many of them because I, being the sneaky devil that I am, will have tricked them into enjoying the learning they have decided to pursue. Wait, what was that? Students chose to learn something? The teacher didn't make them? Yes it's possible (in my perfect classroom for example--nyah)
Seem impossible? Good. Now you know why I'll be in charge. My drama classes will take place in a place kind of like the Holodeck on the Enterprise. I can create whatever atmosphere/environment/scenario just by asking the computer. The reason for this is because I believe Theatre is a portal to life itself. We explore possible scenarios, but the real risk is less than what it will actually be. We won't actually get hurt in the process. It's kind of like a video game--we just respawn somewhere else or reload our saved game. Anything we want, we can get by asking the computer. Props are no issue for my students. Neither is lighting, sets, costumes, etc.
Our main learning activity would be to discover. I know that seems vague, but if you've ever really thought about it, that's what Theatre's primary purpose is: to discover anything you want. In the process you learn two great lessons: (1) Who you really are, and (2) What Humanity really is all about. Want to register for my perfect class? Good. Don't be late and bring a #2 pencil.
Oh, and bring cookies. I like cookies.
You may legitimately ask: Why is Jakob starting to write again on his obnoxious dust covered blog again? Well, I must first remind you why I started it in the first place. It was a requirement that a college instructor of mine MADE me do in order to pass her class. Her name is Dr. Suzie Cox if you want to track her down. Her objective was to get my insights and feedback in hopes that my constructive ramblings might prove to be useful and purposeful to her. Well, I did exactly what she wanted. I gave her my true insights and feedback all the way up until the end of the semester.
I haven't heard from her since.
That brings us to today. Apparently I have another challenger. A new subject and a new instructor: Instructional media, "Doc" Sandie Waters. Doc Waters has lived everywhere, has several advanced degrees, and is a 1st degree black belt in Karate. Feels like a comic book--someone has created my perfect Arch-nemesis to my Superhero character. Or is she the hero and I'm the villain? Only time will tell.
Round 1
Doc Waters' first attack is an attempt to get inside my head and find out what I'm thinking. We all remember what that did to Dr. Cox, so this should be fun (and perhaps a bit messy). My "assignment" is to write about what I would consider to be the Perfect Classroom. If you all recall, I'm masquerading as a Drama Teacher (in training) as part of my super-plot to take over the world. So I'll be letting you in on what you're enslaved futures will be like when I'm in charge (which is a good thing--trust me).
In my Perfect Classroom, there are no stupid people. Enough said.
(Doc Waters wants more details. . . so brace yourselves)
I would like to see a classroom filled with students of all ages, races, (species?) who have one goal in mind: How can I become a better individual? If they do not want to improve themselves, they'll get the boot. I wouldn't have to boot to many of them because I, being the sneaky devil that I am, will have tricked them into enjoying the learning they have decided to pursue. Wait, what was that? Students chose to learn something? The teacher didn't make them? Yes it's possible (in my perfect classroom for example--nyah)
Seem impossible? Good. Now you know why I'll be in charge. My drama classes will take place in a place kind of like the Holodeck on the Enterprise. I can create whatever atmosphere/environment/scenario just by asking the computer. The reason for this is because I believe Theatre is a portal to life itself. We explore possible scenarios, but the real risk is less than what it will actually be. We won't actually get hurt in the process. It's kind of like a video game--we just respawn somewhere else or reload our saved game. Anything we want, we can get by asking the computer. Props are no issue for my students. Neither is lighting, sets, costumes, etc.
Our main learning activity would be to discover. I know that seems vague, but if you've ever really thought about it, that's what Theatre's primary purpose is: to discover anything you want. In the process you learn two great lessons: (1) Who you really are, and (2) What Humanity really is all about. Want to register for my perfect class? Good. Don't be late and bring a #2 pencil.
Oh, and bring cookies. I like cookies.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Support Your Local Sith!
This is the latest entry for a Newsletter I write for in my Star Wars Costuming Group (the Alpine Garrison of the 501st Legion). My column is called 'The Stinken' Jedi' and this is the posting for the 3rd issue. . . which never came out (oh well). There are more to come!
Every once in a while there comes along an opportunity you must take advantage of. Something that only comes along once every few million years (give or take). Something that no one else will believe unless you have Polaroids. Well, my loyal fans (and, what the heck, to you self-righteous critics and artistically challenged editors), this Jedi has really outdone himself, if you can believe it. What has he done, you might ask?
Well if you'll just calm down a minute, I'll tell you. . . (awkward pause). . . I'm not going to tell you until you all sit down and be quiet. (pause) . . I mean it! (pause) . . .I've got all day, I'll wait (pause). . . Luke, quit hitting your twin sister! . . . (pause) . . . that's better.
Now what the heck was I going to tell you? Oh, yes, the news of the century. After months of busy signals and 'I'll call you back tomorrow,' I secured a personal one-on-one in the flesh interview with our very own leader himself, Emperor Palpatine! Now you may wonder what a Jedi and the Master of the Sith would be doing in the same room together? Fighting? I should think not. I read the prophecy, and "The Chosen One" I ain't. Me and Palpy (as his friends call him) have known each other for years. We met through his MySpace page. Once you get past the fact that he's a self-centered, genocidal, sexist tyrant he's not that bad at all (his personal hygiene could use some work, but you didn't hear that from me).
This all took place a short time ago in a bar not far, far away. He had the salad and I had the special, which was highly recommended I might add. Anyways, here's everything we talked about in between his busy life of obliterating star systems.
SJ: Palpy, it's good to see you.
EP: You too. . . umm, eh. . . Bill? No, that's not it. . . ummm. . . don't tell me. . . I'm good at names, really, . . . erm . . I'm drawing a blank here . . . aw, heck, you know who you are!
SJ: . . . thanks.
EP: So, first question!
SJ: Oh, sure. How have you been, first of all?
EP: Never better! Fear is in the air, the Jedi are all extinct. All is right in the galaxy.
SJ: ALL the Jedi?
EP: You heard me.
SJ: You're sure? Maybe you missed one or two?
EP: They're extinct, I say! Vader helped me out. I took care of that green munchkin myself!
SJ: But they never found Yoda's body. . .
EP: Yes they did! Next question!
SJ: Okay, ummm, tell us a little about your past. Not very many people know how you became who you are today.
EP: True, I've lived a hooded lifestyle (heh heh) Get it? Hooded? (Ahem) But you're right. Not many people really know who their Emperor is or what he was like when he was younger. There's a lot of stuff people would never guess about me.
SJ: Like?
EP: Like my first name for instance.
SJ: Really, what is it?
EP: Well, believe it or not, it's Bob.
SJ: Bob? Is that short for anything?
EP: Nope, just Bob. Bob Palpatine.
SJ: So, why don't you ever use your first name?
EP: Are you kidding? Bob's not catchy at all. What Empire would follow a guy with a name like Bob. No one. If my name were Dick, maybe, but never Bob. So, I just go by my last name.
SJ: What about your alias, 'Darth Sidious' ?
EP: Oh that's only for my closest associates in the Sith Business. Kind of like the Godfather. SJ: Speaking of being a Sith, how's that working out for you?
EP: Well, it's not easy, to tell you the truth.
SJ: Ruling with absolute power?
EP: Oh no, that part's easy. The hard part is keeping an apprentice alive long enough to take over the business. They always seem to be getting into, umm, how should I put it? Unfortunate accidents with a lightsaber, I guess. We had a close one with this Vader guy I just hired. That accident was extremely messy. He's fine now, but who knows, maybe something else will get to him? Just between you and me, I think he's emotionally unstable.
SJ: Really?
EP: Oh yeah. No father figure as a kid, mother remarried and died young, unhappy marriage, typical things from a broken household.
SJ: And this is the guy you've chosen as your right hand man to rule the galaxy?
EP: I didn't say he didn't have skills. The man is an amazing cook.
SJ: I'll take your word for it. What about you? How do you pass your time?
EP: Me? Oh, just a little bit of everything. I knit, take walks, manipulate the Senate. One of my more recent hobbies is building models. I just came across this really big one of a battle station. Over 5 million pieces, ages 5 and up. When it's finished it lights up and blows up other planets.
SJ: You mentioned walking. Do you do that to keep in shape?
EP: Keep in shape? No, I have personal trainers that help me with that. I rule every planet in the galaxy, and I want to rule them all for a very long time. No, the walks are just for the paparazzi.
SJ: You're not afraid of having your picture taken, then I gather?
EP: Of course not. Why?
SJ: Well, your face for instance.
EP: What about it?
SJ: It's, uh, a little ummm. . .
EP: What?
SJ: Scary?
EP: Hey, for your information my mother thinks my face is adorable. She says I look like a cross between Dick Van Dyke and Ian McKellan.
SJ: I'd say more like a cross between an albino and a head of cauliflower.
EP: Whatever. It's a distinct look. I'm happy with my plastic surgeon.
SJ: So this whole thing about being left "scarred and deformed"; what is that all about?
EP: That was a very rough time in my life. I was working both sides of the Clone Wars, lost my Droid General and my Sith apprentice, and all of the sudden the Jedi are getting in my face. Not to mention my hamster died. Just croaked, no warning! I really needed some sympathy points back then.
SJ: But you're fine with your face now.
EP: Oh absolutely. Chicks dig scars, that's for sure. It worked for Darth Vader before and after the accident. Women can't keep their hands off him.
SJ: What about you? Does the Emperor have a woman in his life?
EP: You mean besides my mother?
SJ: Eww.
EP: Well, I haven't had a lot of time for dating. I did a little when I was a student at Naboo State University. I met this one girl-a transfer student from Tatooine Tech. Gorgeous beyond all belief. Lovely eyes, long dark hair, sexy legs. And she could dance, too! She was on a full scholarship.
SJ: What happened?
EP: She dumped me for the captain of the Sabaac team.
SJ: Ouch. How'd you take it?
EP: I killed him in secret and sold her into slavery. The textbook Sith reaction.
SJ: And that, I'm guessing, was when you fell to the Dark Side of the Force?
EP: The Dark Side of the What?
SJ: The Force. The Dark Side of the Force?
EP: The Dark Side? I'm lost.
SJ: You know, the Force . . . the energy field that binds the universe together? . . . midichlorians?
EP: Not ringing any bells here, dude.
SJ: Never mind.
EP: You know it almost sounds familiar, but I could be wrong.
SJ: Speaking of being wrong, have you ever made a mistake?
EP: If my press agent is doing his job right, then no.
SJ: Not even a tiny one?
EP: I think getting this salad instead of the soup may qualify.
SJ: Well, we need to wrap things up here.
EP: (thank goodness)
SJ: What was that?
EP: Nothing.
SJ: Before we go, one last question. When you die and go to Heaven, what do you want to hear God say?
EP: "Here's the keys to my office. The name on the door's window has been changed to yours."
SJ: You know you're beginning to scare me.
EP: That's the idea. . . whatever your name is.
Every once in a while there comes along an opportunity you must take advantage of. Something that only comes along once every few million years (give or take). Something that no one else will believe unless you have Polaroids. Well, my loyal fans (and, what the heck, to you self-righteous critics and artistically challenged editors), this Jedi has really outdone himself, if you can believe it. What has he done, you might ask?
Well if you'll just calm down a minute, I'll tell you. . . (awkward pause). . . I'm not going to tell you until you all sit down and be quiet. (pause) . . I mean it! (pause) . . .I've got all day, I'll wait (pause). . . Luke, quit hitting your twin sister! . . . (pause) . . . that's better.
Now what the heck was I going to tell you? Oh, yes, the news of the century. After months of busy signals and 'I'll call you back tomorrow,' I secured a personal one-on-one in the flesh interview with our very own leader himself, Emperor Palpatine! Now you may wonder what a Jedi and the Master of the Sith would be doing in the same room together? Fighting? I should think not. I read the prophecy, and "The Chosen One" I ain't. Me and Palpy (as his friends call him) have known each other for years. We met through his MySpace page. Once you get past the fact that he's a self-centered, genocidal, sexist tyrant he's not that bad at all (his personal hygiene could use some work, but you didn't hear that from me).
This all took place a short time ago in a bar not far, far away. He had the salad and I had the special, which was highly recommended I might add. Anyways, here's everything we talked about in between his busy life of obliterating star systems.
SJ: Palpy, it's good to see you.
EP: You too. . . umm, eh. . . Bill? No, that's not it. . . ummm. . . don't tell me. . . I'm good at names, really, . . . erm . . I'm drawing a blank here . . . aw, heck, you know who you are!
SJ: . . . thanks.
EP: So, first question!
SJ: Oh, sure. How have you been, first of all?
EP: Never better! Fear is in the air, the Jedi are all extinct. All is right in the galaxy.
SJ: ALL the Jedi?
EP: You heard me.
SJ: You're sure? Maybe you missed one or two?
EP: They're extinct, I say! Vader helped me out. I took care of that green munchkin myself!
SJ: But they never found Yoda's body. . .
EP: Yes they did! Next question!
SJ: Okay, ummm, tell us a little about your past. Not very many people know how you became who you are today.
EP: True, I've lived a hooded lifestyle (heh heh) Get it? Hooded? (Ahem) But you're right. Not many people really know who their Emperor is or what he was like when he was younger. There's a lot of stuff people would never guess about me.
SJ: Like?
EP: Like my first name for instance.
SJ: Really, what is it?
EP: Well, believe it or not, it's Bob.
SJ: Bob? Is that short for anything?
EP: Nope, just Bob. Bob Palpatine.
SJ: So, why don't you ever use your first name?
EP: Are you kidding? Bob's not catchy at all. What Empire would follow a guy with a name like Bob. No one. If my name were Dick, maybe, but never Bob. So, I just go by my last name.
SJ: What about your alias, 'Darth Sidious' ?
EP: Oh that's only for my closest associates in the Sith Business. Kind of like the Godfather. SJ: Speaking of being a Sith, how's that working out for you?
EP: Well, it's not easy, to tell you the truth.
SJ: Ruling with absolute power?
EP: Oh no, that part's easy. The hard part is keeping an apprentice alive long enough to take over the business. They always seem to be getting into, umm, how should I put it? Unfortunate accidents with a lightsaber, I guess. We had a close one with this Vader guy I just hired. That accident was extremely messy. He's fine now, but who knows, maybe something else will get to him? Just between you and me, I think he's emotionally unstable.
SJ: Really?
EP: Oh yeah. No father figure as a kid, mother remarried and died young, unhappy marriage, typical things from a broken household.
SJ: And this is the guy you've chosen as your right hand man to rule the galaxy?
EP: I didn't say he didn't have skills. The man is an amazing cook.
SJ: I'll take your word for it. What about you? How do you pass your time?
EP: Me? Oh, just a little bit of everything. I knit, take walks, manipulate the Senate. One of my more recent hobbies is building models. I just came across this really big one of a battle station. Over 5 million pieces, ages 5 and up. When it's finished it lights up and blows up other planets.
SJ: You mentioned walking. Do you do that to keep in shape?
EP: Keep in shape? No, I have personal trainers that help me with that. I rule every planet in the galaxy, and I want to rule them all for a very long time. No, the walks are just for the paparazzi.
SJ: You're not afraid of having your picture taken, then I gather?
EP: Of course not. Why?
SJ: Well, your face for instance.
EP: What about it?
SJ: It's, uh, a little ummm. . .
EP: What?
SJ: Scary?
EP: Hey, for your information my mother thinks my face is adorable. She says I look like a cross between Dick Van Dyke and Ian McKellan.
SJ: I'd say more like a cross between an albino and a head of cauliflower.
EP: Whatever. It's a distinct look. I'm happy with my plastic surgeon.
SJ: So this whole thing about being left "scarred and deformed"; what is that all about?
EP: That was a very rough time in my life. I was working both sides of the Clone Wars, lost my Droid General and my Sith apprentice, and all of the sudden the Jedi are getting in my face. Not to mention my hamster died. Just croaked, no warning! I really needed some sympathy points back then.
SJ: But you're fine with your face now.
EP: Oh absolutely. Chicks dig scars, that's for sure. It worked for Darth Vader before and after the accident. Women can't keep their hands off him.
SJ: What about you? Does the Emperor have a woman in his life?
EP: You mean besides my mother?
SJ: Eww.
EP: Well, I haven't had a lot of time for dating. I did a little when I was a student at Naboo State University. I met this one girl-a transfer student from Tatooine Tech. Gorgeous beyond all belief. Lovely eyes, long dark hair, sexy legs. And she could dance, too! She was on a full scholarship.
SJ: What happened?
EP: She dumped me for the captain of the Sabaac team.
SJ: Ouch. How'd you take it?
EP: I killed him in secret and sold her into slavery. The textbook Sith reaction.
SJ: And that, I'm guessing, was when you fell to the Dark Side of the Force?
EP: The Dark Side of the What?
SJ: The Force. The Dark Side of the Force?
EP: The Dark Side? I'm lost.
SJ: You know, the Force . . . the energy field that binds the universe together? . . . midichlorians?
EP: Not ringing any bells here, dude.
SJ: Never mind.
EP: You know it almost sounds familiar, but I could be wrong.
SJ: Speaking of being wrong, have you ever made a mistake?
EP: If my press agent is doing his job right, then no.
SJ: Not even a tiny one?
EP: I think getting this salad instead of the soup may qualify.
SJ: Well, we need to wrap things up here.
EP: (thank goodness)
SJ: What was that?
EP: Nothing.
SJ: Before we go, one last question. When you die and go to Heaven, what do you want to hear God say?
EP: "Here's the keys to my office. The name on the door's window has been changed to yours."
SJ: You know you're beginning to scare me.
EP: That's the idea. . . whatever your name is.
Friday, January 9, 2009
I Can't Believe I'm Saying This. . .
I'm a College Football fan. I love it. The Pros just don't seem to have as much at stake when compared to these young men. There's always plenty of drama and more than enough excitement on the fields of play. I repeat, I'm a College Football fan.
I am NOT a fan of BCS. Yes, there is a difference (by the way, I think the acronym should stand for Biased Championship Series instead of Bowl Championship Series). First, when it comes to College football, the results are undisputable. The scores are what they are. The records are what they are. When it comes to BCS, it seems the teams who got those records and scores aren't taken seriously. We have several panels of "experts" who "choose" who gets ranked what, and all of that is based (supposedly) on computer statistics. I'd really like to see what those experts and stats say. I'd bet anything it would confirm my desire to take the "C" out of BCS.
Isn't an undefeated season a good thing? Isn't it also hard thing to come by? Utah certainly thinks so this season. So why, I ask, is Florida the National Champions? A team who lost a game during the regular season?
Ok, I know the lame answers to the last question. Utah had a weaker schedule in weaker conference, no one has ever heard of them, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what, I think I'll remove that "C" now. BS! Utah did NOT have a weaker schedule. They beat 4 ranked teams for crying out loud (teams that were still ranked when the final AP came in earlier today)! And what's all this about the Mountain West Conference being weak. How many of those quality non-conference teams played a Mountain West opponent this season? Do you know how well they did ? (I'll wait while you look up the results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . found them yet? Surprised?) Do you know how competitive it is amongst the Mountain West teams alone? Utah fought well and went undefeated in its own conference.
Why is Florida being given the #1 spot? Is it because they have more national coverage, a former Heisman winner, a previous National Championship (that was also decided by the BS)? Is it because they are a team from a BCS conference and Utah is team from a non-BCS conference? Who the Sam Hill determines who gets to be BCS and who doesn't? If we're going to be fair, shouldn't ALL teams have a chance at the BCS?
I won't deny the Gators had an admirable season. . . a season with 1 loss. Utah didn't have any losses, and yet they are behind them in the final ranking. I thought the purpose of playing college football was to determine who the best team is? So it seems to me that the best way to determine who is the best should be the best play each other, not a bunch of BS officials voting on it or biasly choosing who is even eligible to have a chance at it.
That is my exact proposal. Let the 2 best teams play each other. If Florida deserves to be #1, then they should be able to beat Utah, making the Utes undefeated season terminated by a worthy opponent. If Florida's fate turns out like Alabama's (who, by the way, have a new found respect for a MWC team), then the argument is laid to rest in favor of Utah. And, heaven forbid, we just might stop all the BS.
By the way, I'm a BYU fan. I know it's against my beliefs to be rooting for the Utes (by the way, if I hear their fight song one more time I'm going to vomit--it's that bad). But I also believe in fairness. The Utes beat BYU and every other Mountain West team fair and square. Why shouldn't they be given the same chance with the rest of teams out there? With a slight wince but a passionate voice, I say "Go Utes! Stop the BS!"
I am NOT a fan of BCS. Yes, there is a difference (by the way, I think the acronym should stand for Biased Championship Series instead of Bowl Championship Series). First, when it comes to College football, the results are undisputable. The scores are what they are. The records are what they are. When it comes to BCS, it seems the teams who got those records and scores aren't taken seriously. We have several panels of "experts" who "choose" who gets ranked what, and all of that is based (supposedly) on computer statistics. I'd really like to see what those experts and stats say. I'd bet anything it would confirm my desire to take the "C" out of BCS.
Isn't an undefeated season a good thing? Isn't it also hard thing to come by? Utah certainly thinks so this season. So why, I ask, is Florida the National Champions? A team who lost a game during the regular season?
Ok, I know the lame answers to the last question. Utah had a weaker schedule in weaker conference, no one has ever heard of them, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what, I think I'll remove that "C" now. BS! Utah did NOT have a weaker schedule. They beat 4 ranked teams for crying out loud (teams that were still ranked when the final AP came in earlier today)! And what's all this about the Mountain West Conference being weak. How many of those quality non-conference teams played a Mountain West opponent this season? Do you know how well they did ? (I'll wait while you look up the results . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . found them yet? Surprised?) Do you know how competitive it is amongst the Mountain West teams alone? Utah fought well and went undefeated in its own conference.
Why is Florida being given the #1 spot? Is it because they have more national coverage, a former Heisman winner, a previous National Championship (that was also decided by the BS)? Is it because they are a team from a BCS conference and Utah is team from a non-BCS conference? Who the Sam Hill determines who gets to be BCS and who doesn't? If we're going to be fair, shouldn't ALL teams have a chance at the BCS?
I won't deny the Gators had an admirable season. . . a season with 1 loss. Utah didn't have any losses, and yet they are behind them in the final ranking. I thought the purpose of playing college football was to determine who the best team is? So it seems to me that the best way to determine who is the best should be the best play each other, not a bunch of BS officials voting on it or biasly choosing who is even eligible to have a chance at it.
That is my exact proposal. Let the 2 best teams play each other. If Florida deserves to be #1, then they should be able to beat Utah, making the Utes undefeated season terminated by a worthy opponent. If Florida's fate turns out like Alabama's (who, by the way, have a new found respect for a MWC team), then the argument is laid to rest in favor of Utah. And, heaven forbid, we just might stop all the BS.
By the way, I'm a BYU fan. I know it's against my beliefs to be rooting for the Utes (by the way, if I hear their fight song one more time I'm going to vomit--it's that bad). But I also believe in fairness. The Utes beat BYU and every other Mountain West team fair and square. Why shouldn't they be given the same chance with the rest of teams out there? With a slight wince but a passionate voice, I say "Go Utes! Stop the BS!"
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