I Must Have Done Something Wrong. . .

In the past, when I’ve had instructors with enough nerve to make their students actually do work, I learned quickly what the warning signs were for those assignments from Hell. Such things they’d say like “divided into groups” or “research project” always raised a red flag. Once in a while the teacher would say “if your family has a history of medical problems, you may not make it through this assignment.”

This week, I was told that most people take more than 6 hours to complete the assignment I was given. Where I come from, that’s cruel and unusual punishment. I must be getting punished for something.

Ever since the assignment was dished out to me I’ve been wracking my brain. What have I done to upset the Gods of Academia? Was it the time I tricked a kid into sitting on my sharpened pencil? Or maybe it was my made up “works cited” page for my research project? I think it is most likely the time I told a teacher I hoped I didn’t see her again.

By the way, those things I just wrote—they’re all true.

I thought I’d already served my penance, but apparently karma has a lag time. A note to my parents and detention wasn’t enough, so I’m paying for it now.

Oh, in case you’re wondering, I haven’t finished the assignment yet. What assignment is that you might ask? Well, there is the website thingamajig for Utah teachers called UEN. You can use it to make a website for your classes and also take a look at resources other teachers have posted (I believe that is called “mooching”). In order to get better acquainted with this website, we were given a scavenger hunt to do. To me, a scavenger hunt is one where you use the clues given to you to find the treasure at the end. Not this time. I already asked; no treasure.

I guess this is one of those things were you work hard just to persevere over an unbeatable task so that you can have a feeling of victory when you beat the odds. I hate those. But I guess this will help me in the long run (it better or my instructor will have some explaining to do). I’m okay with mooching—less work for me and if it works, hey, it works. Plus, there’s no better way to get a feeling of omnipotence than creating a website that your students have to go to if they want to do well in your class (dance, my little children, dance!). Oh, and heaven forbid they actually use the web stuff I got and learn something. Actually, I bet half of them already can do all the stuff I’m doing right now. That ain’t fair—these kids have had the Internet around since they were born. Me? When I was a high school freshman the Internet was brand new. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know I’m a superior human specimen, these kids might make me nervous.

I guess this UEN thing can be a good thing. I’m not talking about the mooching or the beating the odds stuff. I’m talking about if I can do this, then I might actually have a shot at this world domination thing. UEN first, and then the world. Oh yeah—it’s gonna happen.